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Grandmother's Song 
By: Steve Martin
  Play Sample:
Rank this week: 7 (↓3)
Duration: 2:28 
Release Date: 1977  (sav-man) 
Lyrics By: Steve Martin (sav-man) 
Music By: Steve Martin (sav-man) 
Produced By: William E. McCuen (sav-man) 
Released By: Warner Brothers Records (sav-man) 
Published By: L A Films Music (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: ASCAP  #370129576 
Keywords: AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION, GRANDMOTHERS, MISDIRECTION 
This song is not yet available in our store.
Reviews:
Facts:
  • Classic faux-Folk song/nursery rhyme from Steve. (sav-man)
  • Reached #72 on the Billboard charts in 1977. (sav-man)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Spoken intro:

    Thank you. You know folks, when I was a kid, I was pretty close to my grandmother and she used to sing a song to me when I was about this high. It always meant something to me and I'd like to do it for you right now because it does have meaning in today's world even . . . all these years, you know those, even during the "hip drug days" you know when everybody was supposed to be so cool and everything had double meanings and this little simple tune would keep coming back to me and I think it kinda guided me through those years and I'd like to do this song for you right now, I think it might have a little meaning for you, so here it goes.

    Song

    Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
    Be gentle and peaceful each day,
    Be warm and human and grateful,
    And have a good thing to say.

    Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
    Be witty and happy and wise,
    Be honest and love all your neighbors,
    Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.

    Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
    Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
    Criticize things you don't know about,
    Be oblong and have your knees removed.

    Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
    Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
    Put a live chicken in your underwear,
    Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.

    O.K. everybody!

    Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
    Be gentle and peaceful each day,
    Be warm and human and grateful,
    And have a good thing to say.

    Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
    (O.K. everybody on this!)
    Be witty and happy and wise,
    Be honest and love all your neighbors,
    Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
    (Let 'em hear you outside!)

    Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
    (Everybody sing!)
    Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
    Criticize things you don't know about,
    Be oblong and have your knees removed.

    (Ladies only)
    Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
    (Now the men)
    Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
    (Everybody)
    Put a live chicken in your underwear,
    Go into a closet and suck eggs.

    "You guys are going to be on a record. Maybe - someday. Not mine of course."
    (peterpuck9)
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    Current Rating 8.0 (8 votes)
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.


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