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HOST: Well now, it's Cookery Time, introduced, as usual, by Lenin.
(Lively opening music)
LENIN (David Battley): Hello Comrades! Last week I showed you how to make the party go with the swing, by making pretty little angel cakes. Comrade Trotsky has a different recipe for this, but, uh, we are going to deal with him. But this week I wanted to show you an old Marxist recipe, Marks [Marx] Pudding.
MARX (Henry Woolf): Hello Comrades! Here is a recipe I found in the British Museum. First, make some batter, then put the eggs in the batter, then put the batter in the oven. Then wait for the collapse of the entire bourgeois capitalist system. Set the table, politicize the proletariat, replace the decadent bourgeoisie, activate the workers. Remove from the oven, serve from four to six people. (tastes it) Ah! Delicious, if a bit decadent...
LENIN: What a wonderful recipe, thank you, Karl. Incidentally, it's still not too late to write in and tell us what your neighbors are doing. But now, here's Joe, with a new way to cook eggs.
STALIN (Eric Idle): Capture a dozen eggs. When you've captured them, take them outside, and shoot them. Then, round up the rest of the ingredients, and take them outside, and shoot them. When you've made the omelet, don't trust it: shoot it. (fires his gun) Then shoot all the rest of the ingredients. (fires again) Then shoot all the people who've come to eat the omelet. (bang) And shoot the little kettle! (bang) And shoot the teapot! (bang) And shoot the ladder! (bang) And shoot everything! (bang) Shoot! (bang) Shoot! (bang)
.... Then eat the omelet.
LENIN: You can't make an omelet without breaking the kitchen.
(singing)
Whenever the bourgeoisie get you down, and revisionism's looking blue
(Stalin and Marx enter, dancing.)
ALL: Get into the kitchen, get out your pans, and cook a little dish or two
MARX: Whenever the decline of the capitalist system seems to be coming true
ALL: Get into your kitchen, get out your pans, and cook a little dish or two
Here's our recipe if you want to be free
The future lies in your hands
Don't go on bitchin', get into the kitchen
And rattle, rattle, rattle them pots and pans
STALIN: Whenever you've shot all the people to shoot, and you've shot the firing squad, too
Get into the kitchen, get out your pans, and shoot a little dish or two
LENIN: Shoot one for me, Joe!
ALL: Shoot a little dish or two
MARX: Make mine a bourgeois!
ALL: Shoot a little dish or two, too
STALIN: Toodle-oo!
(Stavro Arrgolus) |
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
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under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
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