Sign-up FREE! View Cart Login
HyperLink
0 Online
 
 
Song Details
Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television 
By: George Carlin
Play Sample:
This song is not available for free download
due to copyright or license restrictions.
Rank this week: 16 (↑44)
Duration: 7:02 
Release Date: 1972  (Old Fan, Young Heart) 
Lyrics By: George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Monte Kay/Jack Lewis (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Little David LD 1004 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Dead Sea Music Inc. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Keywords: KIDS, MOVIES, OBSCENITY, SEVEN, SIGNATURE ROUTINE, SPORTS, TELEVISION, TONIGHT SHOW, WORDSMITH 
Reviews:
This is it. The comedy bit to end all comedy bits- at least for the 2nd half of the...last century. God, I'm old... Never mind, I'll start again.

This is the groundbreaking bit that Lenny Bruce made possible but George Carlin executed flawlessly. It wasn't merely about so-called "bad words' for as the bit says, "(There are) no bad words- bad thoughts, bad intentions...and words." This is a bit that, like many on the "Class Clown" album, exposes American society's hypocrisy about language and values as they relate to such things as youth, sex, violence and the media with the 'hook' being the shock value of the continuous use of the words themselves. ...Shocking for 1972, anyway.

At the time, like Lenny Bruce, Carlin was given ten kinds of hell for bits like this, but ultimately, the pure sensibility and truth behind the material and the attitudes of the times it reflected overwhelmed the anal retentive censoring bastards of "morality" seeking to impose their twisted, antiquated 'values' on a pampered generation disgusted with unjust wars and political corruption and wishing to experience all things 'new & hip' (read: sex, drugs & rock 'n roll).

For fans of comedy at the time -and even now- this bit from decades ago is the standard that everything else is weighed against. And in the end, for good or bad, it's the bit George Carlin will be remembered best for.

-'Stavro Arrgolus' (review revised- June 2008)
- Stavro Arrgolus
Facts:
  • The version heard on Dr. Demento was an edited version, put together by one of doc's sidekicks, Damaskas Hollodan, doing a real 'cut and paste' on this routine, replacing the 'bad words' with various sound effects, some suggestive for that word. That version has gone beyond to be used elsewhere. (Tim P. Ryan)
  • There was a vague reference to this routine in a season 2 episode of "SpongeBob SquarePants". (Sonic SBL)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I, uh, I think is important. I love, as I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. And then we assign a word to a thought (POP) and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think, yeah, the same words y'know, that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them. There are some people that are not into all the words. There are some people that would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7 of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 ...to 7. They must reallllly be baaad. They'd have to be outrageous to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you 7! Baaad words! That's what they told us they were, remember? "That's a bad word!" (Wahhhh!) No bad words. Bad thoughts...bad intentions...and words.

    You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
    s**t, ****, f**k, ****, **********, m**********r and ****, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul...curve your spine...and keep the country from winning the war. s**t, ****, f**k, ****, **********, m**********r and ****, wow! ...And **** doesn't even belong on the list, y'know? Yeah. It's such a friendly sounding word. Sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, ****, come here, man. Hey, ****! Hey ****, meet Toots. Toots, ****. ****, Toots, man." Sounds like a snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is, right, a snack. But I don't mean your sexist snack. I mean new Nabisco ****! And new Cheese ****! Corn ****-n, Pizza ****, Sesame ****, Onion ****. Tater ****. Yeah. "Betcha Can't Eat Just One", huh? That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not completely insensitive to people's feelings, y'know. I can dig why some of those words got on the list, like ********** and m**********r. Those are...those are heavyweight words, y'know. There's a lot going on there, man. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those Ks, those are aggressive sounds. They jump out at you man. **********, m**********r, **********, m**********r! It's like an assault on you, you know? So I can dig that.

    Now we mentioned s**t earlier of course and, uh, two of the other four-letter Anglo-Saxon words are **** and ****, which go together of course, but forget that. A little accidental humor I threw in there. **** and ****. The reason that **** and **** are on the list is that a long time ago, certain ladies said, "Those are the two I'm not going to say. I don't mind f**k and s**t, but 'P' and 'C' are out! 'P' and 'C' are out!" Which led to such stupid sentences as "Okay you *******, I'm going to tinkle now."

    And, of course, the word f**k. The word f**k - I don't really, well here's some more accidental humor, - I don't wanna get into that now. Because I think it takes too long. But I do mean that. I mean I think the word f**k is a very important word. It's the beginning of life and yet it is a word we use to hurt one another...quite often. And people much wiser than I have said, "I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one another." And I, of course, can agree. It's a great sentiment, I wish I knew who said it first and I agree with that but I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word 'f**k' for the word 'kill' in all of those movie cliches we grew up with, right? "Okay, Sheriff, we're gonna f**k you now! But we're gonna f**k you slow." So maybe next year I'll have a whole ******' rap on that word. I hope so.

    There are two-way words. Those are the seven you can never say on television, under any circumstances. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc and Ed and Johnny. I mean, it's just impossible. Forget those seven, they're out. But there are some two-way words, those double-meaning words. Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the c**k crowed three times" "Hey, tha c**k crowed three times! Ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in the bible. Ha ha ha ha. There are some two-way words, like it is okay for Curt Goudy to say, "Roberto Clemente has two balls on him." But he can't say, "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding them. He must've hurt them, by God." And the other two-way word that goes with that one is prick. It's okay if it happens to your finger. Yes, you can prick your finger but don't finger your prick". No, no!
    (Sonic SBL)
    HyperLink  
    Current Rating 10.0 (8 votes)
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television"
     
     
    A-Log   Offline  -  Artist & D.J.  -  01-14-18 05:36 AM  -  1 month ago
    If memory serves, I think it's on one of my flash drives. I'll do a check later tonight. Sorry about that, Stavro.



    ---
    Stavro Arrgolus:

    Bugger all. Talk about defeating the purpose.

    If there was ever a bit that should have no
    SFW version, it's this one. The whole thing is meant to drive home the
    message that there are no "bad words" and that "word fear" is,
    well...f*cking stupid. It's something I still believe. But in this
    political climate, stupidity is in charge, it seems. Don't tolerate it -
    "lock it up".

    Ordinarily,
    I'd say that any censored version should have it's own page. But this
    is a special case. A censored page about a classic anti-censorship bit
    would be...you know. But there's no law saying there can't be one.

    Sorry about the rant, but this sort of thing bothers me. Do what I do and keep altered copies for shows in a folder somewhere. Don't overwrite the originals. Keep the censored pages separate.

    Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  01-14-18 01:13 AM  -  1 month ago

    Bugger all. Talk about defeating the purpose.

    If there was ever a bit that should have no SFW version, it's this one. The whole thing is meant to drive home the message that there are no "bad words" and that "word fear" is, well...f*cking stupid. It's something I still believe. But in this political climate, stupidity is in charge, it seems. Don't tolerate it - "lock it up".

    Ordinarily, I'd say that any censored version should have it's own page. But this is a special case. A censored page about a classic anti-censorship bit would be...you know. But there's no law saying there can't be one.

    Sorry about the rant, but this sort of thing bothers me. Do what I do and keep altered copies for shows in a folder somewhere. Don't overwrite the originals. Keep the censored pages separate.

    A-Log   Offline  -  Artist & D.J.  -  01-13-18 01:37 AM  -  1 month ago
    Ok, what happened to the edited for radio-play version? I lost my copy.
      Online  -   -  07-01-07 05:04 PM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    ok, ok, can ya just let me know what the 7 words you cant say on tv are.
    Enter a New Message
    Message:
    RadEditor - HTML WYSIWYG Editor. MS Word-like content editing experience thanks to a rich set of formatting tools, dropdowns, dialogs, system modules and built-in spell-check.
    RadEditor's components - toolbar, content area, modes and modules
       
    Toolbar's wrapper  
    Content area wrapper
    RadEditor's bottom area: Design, Html and Preview modes, Statistics module and resize handle.
    It contains RadEditor's Modes/views (HTML, Design and Preview), Statistics and Resizer
    Editor Mode buttonsStatistics moduleEditor resizer
     
     
    RadEditor's Modules - special tools used to provide extra information such as Tag Inspector, Real Time HTML Viewer, Tag Properties and other.
       

     

     
    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

    Home - News - Forums - Features - Shows - Songs - Artists - About - Friends - Blogs - Search - Help
    © 2004-2017 Mad Music Productions, LLC, all rights reserved. Portions are Copyright by their respective copyright holders.