It's So Chic To Be Pregnant At Christmas
By:
Nancy White
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Facts: |
| Originally from the album- "Momnipotent: Songs for Weary Parents" (1990) (Stavro Arrgolus) |
| Web pages about this song: |
|
| Song Lyrics: |
It's so chic to be pregnant at Christmas
I feel like the "round yon virgin" of yore
'Cause though I have a warm bed to sleep in
There's no room for me when I go to the store
'Cause the aisles are so narrow and crowded
Christmas shopping has never been such a pain
(gasp) Here comes another Braxton-Hicks contraction
And I'm knockin' over knick-knacks again
Oh, the salesclerks are so friendly this Christmas
One said, "Oh God, lady, don't have it here"
Their discretion and manners go right out the door
When I and my stomach appear
People like to put their hands on my fundus
And they want to know exactly when I'm due
I say, "Why do you care? Are you planning to be there?
I could use an extra labor coach or two!"
I am such fun at a party
Trying hard to get high on life
Desperately avoiding the smokers
Being introduced as someone's "little wife"
(Not-so-little wife)
No, I enjoy being pregnant at Christmas
Though my identity is draining away
And if I ever get asked my opinion again
I'll simply smile and continue to...crochet?
It's so Biblical to be pregnant at Christmas
No matter what stories you believe
And I may suffer from gravid senilis...and heartburn and nausea and charlie horses and overwhelming fatigue...and frequent micturation and varicose veins and...swollen ankles and shortness...of breath...and that...tired, achy feeling in the grooooooin...
But I won't be alone on New Year's Eve
Fa-La-La-La-La La-La La La
©1990 Nancy White (Stavro Arrgolus) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Current Rating
9.0
(4 votes)
|
|
|
| Played on 36 shows: |
 | 11-10-91, #91-45 | | 12-08-03, #XM-29 |
| 12-08-91, #91-49 | | 12-05-04, #XM-80 |
| 12-22-91, #91-51 |  | 12-08-04, #KMCC_2-07 |
| 11-29-92, #92-48 | | 12-10-06, #MMS-57 |
| 12-20-92, #92-51 | | 12-10-06, #06-50 |
| 03-14-93, #93-11 | | 12-02-07, #07-48 |
| 12-12-93, #93-50 | | 12-09-07, #MMS-102 |
| 12-11-94, #94-50 | | 12-24-07, #MM-138 |
| 11-12-95, #95-46 | | 12-07-08, #08-49 |
| 12-10-95, #95-50 | | 12-22-08, #MMS-120 |
| 12-15-96, #96-50 | | 12-13-09, #09-50 |
| 12-14-97, #97-50 | | 12-20-09, #MMS-134 |
| 12-20-98, #98-51 | | 12-11-10, #10-50 |
| 12-19-99, #99-51 | | 12-25-10, #MMS-137 |
| 12-10-00, #00-50 | | 12-13-11, #LCBR_Ep054 |
| 12-02-01, #01-48 | | 12-13-11, #BWR-11-12-13 |
| 12-08-02, #02-49 | | 11-29-12, #ISGD-12-49 |
| 12-07-03, #03-49 | | 12-22-12, #AOTA-121222 |
| = Show you can listen to online |
|
|
|
|