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It's So Chic To Be Pregnant At Christmas 
By: Nancy White
  Play Sample:
Rank this week: 30 (↑46)
Duration: 2:29 
Release Date: 1990  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Nancy White (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Nancy White (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By:
Released By: The Children's Group/Mouton Records (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By:
Licensing: ASCAP  #390790804 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Keywords:
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Facts:
  • Originally from the album- "Momnipotent: Songs for Weary Parents" (1990) (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    It's so chic to be pregnant at Christmas
    I feel like the "round yon virgin" of yore
    'Cause though I have a warm bed to sleep in
    There's no room for me when I go to the store

    'Cause the aisles are so narrow and crowded
    Christmas shopping has never been such a pain
    (gasp) Here comes another Braxton-Hicks contraction
    And I'm knockin' over knick-knacks again

    Oh, the salesclerks are so friendly this Christmas
    One said, "Oh God, lady, don't have it here"
    Their discretion and manners go right out the door
    When I and my stomach appear

    People like to put their hands on my fundus
    And they want to know exactly when I'm due
    I say, "Why do you care? Are you planning to be there?
    I could use an extra labor coach or two!"

    I am such fun at a party
    Trying hard to get high on life
    Desperately avoiding the smokers
    Being introduced as someone's "little wife"
    (Not-so-little wife)

    No, I enjoy being pregnant at Christmas
    Though my identity is draining away
    And if I ever get asked my opinion again
    I'll simply smile and continue to...crochet?

    It's so Biblical to be pregnant at Christmas
    No matter what stories you believe
    And I may suffer from gravid senilis...and heartburn and nausea and charlie horses and overwhelming fatigue...and frequent micturation and varicose veins and...swollen ankles and shortness...of breath...and that...tired, achy feeling in the grooooooin...
    But I won't be alone on New Year's Eve
    Fa-La-La-La-La La-La La La

    ©1990 Nancy White
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
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    Current Rating 9.0 (4 votes)
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