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9 Coronas (original version) 
By: John Cougar Mammoser
Play Sample:
Rank this week: 24 (↑45)
Duration: 2:23 
Release Date: 1987  (AH3RD) 
Lyrics By: J. Mammoser (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: D. Fieger/B. Averre (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By:
Released By:
Published By:
Keywords: DRINKING 
This song is not yet available in our store.
  • Parody of "My Sharona" by The Knack. (czwrefsteven)
  • Sometimes the 'regionalism thing' creeps into these tunes. Dallas, in the case of this original version of John Mammoser's parody. "But LBJ's too narrow after..." is a reference to Interstate 635, named after Lyndon Baines Johnson, which makes a partial loop around Dallas. They say everything's bigger in Texas, but I suspect that even an interstate can be too narrow after 9 Coronas. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    9 Coronas!
    9 Coronas!

    The woman looked good to me, good to me,
    But all the girls look good after 9 Coronas!
    She was bigger than a Winnebago, a Winnebago,
    But she looked like Vanna White after 9 Coronas!
    I looked at her face, I saw lust in her four eyes,
    But I didn't see the cellulite on her thighs!
    Bow-wow-wow-wow-wow, WOOOOW!
    N-N-N-9 Coronas!

    I couldn't see why she'd say no, a-she'd say no,
    But I couldn't see her moustache after 9 Coronas!
    So I asked her to go home with me, a-home with me.
    She couldn't run away after 9 Coronas!
    We went to my bedroom and we made wild nookie,
    then I turned on the light and took another lookie...
    Bow-wow-wow-wow-wow, WOOOOW!
    N-N-N-9 Coronas!
    N-N-N-9 Coronas!

    9 Coronas!
    9 Coronas!
    I had to t-t-take her home, take her home,
    But LBJ's too narrow after 9 Coronas!
    I couldn't d-d-d-d-drive, can't drive,
    'Cause all the lights look green after 9 Coronas!
    I got stopped by the cops going backwards down a one-way street,
    He opened up the door, saw her and punched her in the teeth!
    Bow-wow-wow-wow-wow, WOOOOW!
    N-N-N-9 Coronas!
    Bow-wow-wow-wow-wow, WOOOOW!
    N-N-N-9 Coronas!
    N-N-N-9 Coronas!
    N-N-N-9 Coronas!
    N-N-N-9 Coronas!!!
    Current Rating 9.4 (5 votes)
    Song Images:

    Messages about the song: "9 Coronas (original version)"


    << Previous Song Thread Next Song Thread >>
    (New Message)
    EdPinkley   (Offline)  -  Member  -  02-17-15 07:03 AM  -  19 months ago
    In my head I had the phrase "Going backwards down a on-way street" and thought: what song was that? I thought I figured out the song but kept finding the version I did not recognize (the remake). Many Google and YouTube searches later, I'm here. Thank you for restoring my sanity (at least a small part of it)
    (New Message)
    The Kahn Man   (Offline)  -  Artist & D.J.  -  09-19-07 07:29 PM  -  108 months ago

    hey AH3RD,

    My Name is the Kahn Man and I Have Both Versions of the song and I Got Permission from John Mamoser Himself to play it on my Podcast so look For it next month On the kahn Mans Comedy Corner. It should be part of the mad Music archives soon. Or go to my my space group www.myspace.com/thekahnman to hear it or check out gcast.com to download that show when it airs.

    Tyrone kahn
    The Kahn Man
    (New Message)
    AH3RD   (Offline)  -  Member  -  09-10-07 02:40 PM  -  108 months ago
    This is the song I taped from a February 1988 airing of Dr. Demento on WTIX-AM, The Mighty 690 (at a time when it was ailing and about to die off and give way to All-Talk). Though it doesn't win any ribbons in the annals of good taste, it was nonetheless amusing. I no longer have the tape of the song (I had little money to buy new tapes, so I had to tape over certain materials), and I've searched hither and yon all over The Web for the original "9 Coronas," but all that's turned up is that 1999 remake! It would be a pleasure to hear the original just once more.

    Enter a New Message



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