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VOICE-OVER 1
The Tale Of Sir Robin.
VOICE-OVER 2
So each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north through the dark forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favorite minstrels.
SINGER
Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot,
He was not afraid to die, Oh Brave Sir Robin,
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken;
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.
His head smashed in, and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils raped, and his bottom burned off,
And his penis ...
ROBIN
That's, that's, uh, that's ... ah ... that's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.
(Eerie music sets in. They pass signs reading "Certain Death" etc., all in triplicate. The peasants from earlier in the movie go by...)
DENNIS
Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom ...
OLD WOMAN
Oh Dennis, forget about freedom. We haven't got enough mud.
(Crashing chords. A GIANT THREE-HEADED KNIGHT appears)
THREE HEADS
Halt! Who art thou?
SINGERS (full song)
He is brave Sir Robin, brave Sir Robin, who ...
ROBIN
(-to SINGERS) Shut up. ...Um, nobody really. Ah ... just ... um ... just passing through.
THREE HEADS
What do you want?
SINGERS (full song)
To fight and ...
ROBIN
Shut up! ...Um ... oh ... Nothing, nothing really. I'll just ... just to ... um ... just to pass through, good Sir knight.
THREE HEADS
I'm afraid not.
ROBIN
Ah, well, actually, I, I am a Knight of the Round Table.
THREE HEADS
You are a Knight of the Round Table?
ROBIN
I am.
(From now on, the THREE HEADS speak individually)
FIRST HEAD
In that case I shall have to kill you.
SECOND HEAD
Shall I?
THIRD HEAD
Oh, I don't think so.
MIDDLE HEAD
What do I think?
LEFT HEAD
I think, kill him.
THIRD HEAD
Oh! let's be nice to him.
FIRST HEAD
Oh, shut up.
ROBIN
Perhaps ...
SECOND HEAD
And you.
FIRST HEAD
Oh, get the sword out. I want to cut his head off.
THIRD HEAD
Oh, cut your own head off.
SECOND HEAD
Yes; do us all a favor.
FIRST HEAD
What?
THIRD HEAD
Yapping on all the time.
SECOND HEAD
You're lucky, you're not next to him.
THIRD HEAD
What do you mean?
SECOND HEAD
You snore.
THIRD HEAD
Ooh, I don't! Anyway you've got bad breath.
SECOND HEAD
Well, it's only because you don't brush my teeth ...
THIRD HEAD
Oh! stop bickering and let's go and have tea.
FIRST HEAD
All Right! All right! All right! We'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.
SECOND HEAD
Yes.
THIRD HEAD
Oh! not biscuits ...
FIRST HEAD
All right! All right! not biscuits - but let's kill him anyway!
ALL HEADS
Right!
(Wide shot- the THREE-HEADED KNIGHT is alone)
SECOND HEAD
He's buggered off!
THIRD HEAD
So he has! He's scarpered.
(Quick cut to SIR ROBIN. The music is jolly and bright, as if triumphant. ROBIN is not at all happy with the lyrics)
SINGER
Brave Sir Robin ran away.
ROBIN
No!
SINGER
Bravely ran away, away.
ROBIN
I didn't!
SINGER
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled...
ROBIN
No!
SINGER
..Brave Sir Robin turned about..
ROBIN
I didn't!
SINGER
..And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely taking to his feet..
ROBIN
I never did!
SINGER
..He beat a very brave retreat..
ROBIN
All lies!
SINGER
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!
ROBIN
I never!
(Stavro Arrgolus) |
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Current Rating
10.0
(1 vote)
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended
to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before
they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted
under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The
ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.
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