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Dueling Dorks 
By: Artist Unknown
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Duration: 2:51 [edit]
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  • I have read two speculations about the source of the song. One is that it was put together as a morning talk-show song. Another was that it was a rejected promotion CD, given to a radio station. (Jacqke) [edit]
  • This song was a regular staple on the show "Music with Moscowitz", run by "Mad Man Moscowitz" on various Puget Sound radio stations in the early to mid nineties. Moscowitz, aka Robert Baron, passed away in 1996, ending his show, but there is an active Yahoo group who talk about the music he played, a wealth of novelty music information. As best I recall, Music with Moscowitz ran in two halves, the first dedicated to nostalgic music, the second, labeled the "Funny Farm", (for the often played "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!"), played novelty music. (Jacqke) [edit]
  • Song Lyrics:
    [To the tune of Dueling Banjos...]

    I'm a real big dork
    And so am I
    I'm a bigger dork
    Oh no, you're not

    [talking]
    Oh Yeah?
    Yeah, my eye!
    Well there's only one way to solve this
    How's that?
    I challenge you to a duel
    You mean...
    Yes! Dueling Dorks

    When I play poker I throw away aces
    Well I buy cheese whiz by the cases
    I buy new loafers and ask for laces
    When I park my car I take two spaces

    I like to suck the ink from pens
    If one is smart then I'm a ten
    My hobby's collecting Tupperware
    I never change my underwear

    I signal left and always turn right
    I forget to turn on my headlights
    I always drive slow in the tube
    And all my friends say I'm a boob

    We're the Dueling Dorks
    Yes the Dueling Dorks
    The Dueling Dorks
    The Dueling Dorks

    I got holes in all my dress up socks
    And my closest friend is my pet rock
    When it comes to wine I like mine new
    Vintage ain't good 'nough for you

    [talking]
    You know, We got a lot in common, really
    Yeah, guys like us ought to stick together
    We ought, we ought to start like an organization for dorks
    Yeah but you really think anyone would remember how to get to the meeting place
    Well I don't know, what you asking me for? [Both talking at once] I don't even know where the meeting place is
    'jeese. Get off my face.
    Awe come on

    Look at me I'm a flaming fool
    I like the way you talk and drool
    I just realized my fly is down
    You're the biggest dork in town

    Maybe I should market this
    Certainly, how could we miss
    I'll open up a dork boutique
    With pros like us, it'll take a week

    Do you think the world is ready for
    A dork bee-oo-tique and maybe more
    The Dueling Dorks
    The Dueling Dorks

    [talking]
    Wow!
    Oh boy!
    That was like the hardest thing I've ever done my whole life
    I thought it was a lot of fun, myself
    Have you got a handkerchief, I got a booger in my nose here
    No I don't, but ah, I think I could find a piece of toilet paper for you
    I think I'll just use my sleeve
    Oh you're, you're a dork
    No, you're a dork
    No, you're, you're a dork
    Oh yeah?
    Uh huh.
    Oh yeah?
    Hey, we're both dorks, ain't we
    Oh yeah?
    That's right!
    I'm leaving
    All right. Then you get outta here then
    Oh yeah?
    Yeah!
    Oh yeah?
    Uh huh!
    Goodbye!
    Goodbye!...Dork!
    (Jacqke) [edit]
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    Current Rating 9.2 (2 votes)
    Played on 1 show:
    11-13-06, #MMS-53
    = Show you can listen to online
    Messages about the song: "Dueling Dorks"
     
     
    Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  10-11-11 01:28 AM  -  12 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    Read this - www.themadmusicarchive.com/tmmahelp.aspx
    CornHole   Offline  -  Member  -  10-11-11 01:18 AM  -  12 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    how do i get the entire song
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