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Song Details
Duration: 5:09 
Release Date: 2005  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Eric Idle/John Du Prez (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Eric Idle/John Du Prez (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By:
Released By:
Published By: Rutsongs Music (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI  #7341561 
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Song Lyrics:
ARTHUR:
Have you heard of this "Broadway?"

ROBIN:
Yes, sire...and we don't stand a chance there.

ARTHUR:
Why not?

ROBIN:
Because...Broadway is a very special place,
filled with very special people,
people who can sing and dance, often at the same time!
They are a different people, a multi-talented people,
a people...who need people...and who are, in many ways, the
luckiest people in...the world. I'm sorry sire, but we don't stand a chance.

ARTHUR:
But why?

ROBIN:
Well...let me put it like this.

In any great adventure
that you don't want to lose,
victory depends upon the people that you choose
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
We won't succeed on Broadway
If you don't have any Jews

You may have the finest sets
Fill the stage with Penthouse pets
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes
You my dance and you may sing
But I'm sorry, Arthur king
You'll hear no cheers
Just lots and lots of boos

ENSEMBLE:
Boo

ROBIN:
You may have have butch men by the score
Whom the audience adore
You may even have some animals from zoos
Though you've Poles and krauts instead
You may have unleavened bread
But I tell you, you are dead
If you don't have any Jews

They won't care if it's witty
or everything looks pretty
They'll simply say it's shitty and refuse
Nobody will go, sir
If it's not kosher, then no show, sir
Even goyim won't be dim enough to choose!
Put on shows that make men stare
With lots of girls in underwear
You may even have the finest of reviews

CRITIC:
You're doing great!

ROBIN:
The audience won't care, sir
As long as you don't dare, sir
To open up on Broadway
If you don't have any Jews

You may have dramatic lighting
Or lots of horrid fighting
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
Your knights might be nice boys
But sadly, we're all goys
And that noise that you call singing you must lose

So, despite your pretty lights
and naughty girls in nasty tights
and the most impressive scenery you use...
You may have dancing mana-mano
You may bring on a piano
But they will not give a damn-o
If you don't have any Jews!

You may fill your play with gays
Have Nigerian girls in stays

GIRLS:
You may even have some shiksas making stews!

ROBIN:
You haven't got a clue
If you don't have a Jew
All of your investments you are going to lose!

There's a very small percentile
Who enjoys a dancing gentile
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
But never mind your swordplay
You just won't succeed on Broadway
You just won't succeed on Broadway
If you don't have any Jews!

Arthur, can you hear me?

To get along on Broadway
To sing a song on Broadway
To hit the top on Broadway and not lose
I tell you, Arthur king
There is one essential thing...
There simply must be, simply must be Jews

There simply must be
Arthur trust me
Simply must be Jews

(Stavro Arrgolus)
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Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
Played on 5 shows:
06-11-06, #MMS-3106-05-05, #05-23
08-28-05, #05-3505-22-05, #05-21
06-26-05, #05-26
= Show you can listen to online
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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