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Song Details
Rank this week: 43 (↑13)
Duration: 1:45 
Release Date: 1972  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Eric Idle (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Jacquemin/Jones/Palin/Bailey (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Arista 0598 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Kay-Gee-Bee Music Ltd. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: ASCAP 
Keywords: ALCOHOLISM, AUSTRALIA, WINE, WINOS 
Reviews:
Facts:
  • One of the many cultural quirks of the British that being a fan of Monty Python exposes one to is their habit of having a go at their former colonies every now and again. Australia (land of sunshine and sharks) is a favorite of theirs for this sort of thing and manifests itself here in this non-Bruce related sequence about the much maligned Australian wine industry. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    (Eric Idle w/ Australian [but not 'Bruce' character] accent:)

    A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palate but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.

    Black Stump Bordeaux is rightly praised as a peppermint flavored Burgundy, whilst a good Sydney Syrup can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines. Château Blue, too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn. Old Smokey 1968 has been compared favorably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian Wino Society thoroughly recommends a 1970 Coq du Rod Laver, which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule. Eight bottles of this and you're really finished. At the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.

    Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in and the message is "beware". This is not a wine for drinking; this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

    Another good fighting wine is Melbourne Old & Yellow, which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.

    Quite the reverse is true of Château Chunder, which is an appellation contrôlée, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation; a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends. Real emetic fans will also go for a Hobart Muddy and a prize winning Cuivre Reserve Château Bottled Nuit San Wagga Wagga, which has a bouquet like an aborigine's armpit.
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    HyperLink  
    Current Rating 10.0 (3 votes)
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "Australian Table Wines"
     
     
    Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  01-17-09 02:18 PM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    Apparently, it's so far away that it takes $10 million to move somewhere decent. Somewhere with really big sheds.

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    I suppose that it's better than living in Calgary but I wouldn't know for sure.

    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    They'll tax your sheds, then give you a boot to the head and insist you get your own arts program.

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    I heard they'll even Taxyatwosheds......

    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    Yes. I hide it in the vegetable rack and frighten the children. Of course, they call this place 'Taxachusetts' for a reason and the tax on thingy shaped produce is outrageous.
    peterpuck9   Offline  -  Participant  -  01-17-09 02:16 PM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    I suppose that it's better than living in Calgary but I wouldn't know for sure.

    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    They'll tax your sheds, then give you a boot to the head and insist you get your own arts program.

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    I heard they'll even Taxyatwosheds......

    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    Yes. I hide it in the vegetable rack and frighten the children. Of course, they call this place 'Taxachusetts' for a reason and the tax on thingy shaped produce is outrageous.
    Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  01-17-09 02:14 PM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    They'll tax your sheds, then give you a boot to the head and insist you get your own arts program.

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    I heard they'll even Taxyatwosheds......

    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    Yes. I hide it in the vegetable rack and frighten the children. Of course, they call this place 'Taxachusetts' for a reason and the tax on thingy shaped produce is outrageous.
    peterpuck9   Offline  -  Participant  -  01-17-09 02:09 PM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    I heard they'll even Taxyatwosheds......

    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    Yes. I hide it in the vegetable rack and frighten the children. Of course, they call this place 'Taxachusetts' for a reason and the tax on thingy shaped produce is outrageous.


    Bob Guest:
    ---
    But do you have a turnip shaped like a thingy?


    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    See that? Everything we do for 'fun' gets taxed. Smoking's been taxed, drinking's been taxed- and now...thingy!

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    We must tax these newfangled thingies.....



    Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  01-17-09 11:20 AM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    Yes. I hide it in the vegetable rack and frighten the children. Of course, they call this place 'Taxachusetts' for a reason and the tax on thingy shaped produce is outrageous.


    Bob Guest:
    ---
    But do you have a turnip shaped like a thingy?


    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    See that? Everything we do for 'fun' gets taxed. Smoking's been taxed, drinking's been taxed- and now...thingy!

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    We must tax these newfangled thingies.....



    Bob Guest   Offline  -  Artist  -  01-17-09 11:03 AM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    But do you have a turnip shaped like a thingy?


    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    See that? Everything we do for 'fun' gets taxed. Smoking's been taxed, drinking's been taxed- and now...thingy!

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    We must tax these newfangled thingies.....



    Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  01-17-09 02:17 AM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    See that? Everything we do for 'fun' gets taxed. Smoking's been taxed, drinking's been taxed- and now...thingy!

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    We must tax these newfangled thingies.....



    peterpuck9   Offline  -  Participant  -  01-17-09 02:14 AM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    We must tax these newfangled thingies.....

    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    Well, I think newfangled thingies have killed real entertainment. In the old days we used to make our own fun. At Christmas parties I used to strike myself on the head repeatedly with blunt instruments while crooning. 'Only make believe...' (bonk)

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    You had a record playin' machine?! We couldn't afford it. We had to give my younger brother acupuncture and spin him round and round......He had a good singing voice though......


    Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  01-15-09 11:01 PM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    Well, I think newfangled thingies have killed real entertainment. In the old days we used to make our own fun. At Christmas parties I used to strike myself on the head repeatedly with blunt instruments while crooning. 'Only make believe...' (bonk)

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    You had a record playin' machine?! We couldn't afford it. We had to give my younger brother acupuncture and spin him round and round......He had a good singing voice though......


    peterpuck9   Offline  -  Participant  -  01-15-09 10:56 PM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    You had a record playin' machine?! We couldn't afford it. We had to give my younger brother acupuncture and spin him round and round......He had a good singing voice though......

    Stavro Arrgolus:
    ---
    Yes, there is. That is the 1st thing heard at the beginning of a particular album side (I can never remember which because I have the Instant Python CD collection now and they aren't marked by album), presumably to scare the hell out of the listener just as he was done putting down the needle. ..In the 'old days' when we used those old fashioned "record playin' machines".

    Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  01-14-09 02:11 AM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    Yes, there is. That is the 1st thing heard at the beginning of a particular album side (I can never remember which because I have the Instant Python CD collection now and they aren't marked by album), presumably to scare the hell out of the listener just as he was done putting down the needle. ..In the 'old days' when we used those old fashioned "record playin' machines".

    peterpuck9:
    ---
    Isn't there another version of this where they say at the end "not this record" and you hear the record scratch?
    peterpuck9   Offline  -  Participant  -  01-14-09 02:04 AM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    Isn't there another version of this where they say at the end "not this record" and you hear the record scratch?
    Stavro Arrgolus   Offline  -  Editor, MP3  -  01-14-09 01:29 AM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    So it is. Fixed.
    xolin   Offline  -  Member  -  01-14-09 12:57 AM  -  10 years ago
    fiogf49gjkf0d
    I am from Australia - the town is spelled, "Wagga Wagga" but pronounced "Wogga Wogga"
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