I may have mentioned this before at some point, but Lewis Black once said, "It's not really soy milk; it's 'soy juice'. But saying 'soy juice' makes you want to gag a little, so they don't call it that." Trust me, you'll be happier drinking (another Lewis Black phrase) "Moo Cow F*ck Milk."

Lactose intolerance be damned! How many people in Ethiopia aren't allergic to anything? ...And now I'm quoting Chris Rock. This is getting out of hand.