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Song Details
Rank this week: 45 (↑4)
Duration: 3:37 
Release Date: 2003  (sfjpk30) 
Lyrics By: Dan Hart (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Dan Hart (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By:
Released By: CD Baby (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By:
Licensing: BMI  #7910465 
Keywords:
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Facts:
Song Lyrics:
intro:
It's Xmas and you're all wondering what to get for me
The guy- who has it all, it seems
Fame and all those things that money can't buy
Beyond my wildest sugarplum-filled dreams
But my riches don't include the proper attitude
I still rail against that greedy Xmas spirit
I can only see the sleaze, that's my yuletide disease
But they have finally found a way to cure it

Now...I...am... getting a lobotomy for Xmas
My mood was getting everybody down
My friends and my honey, they all donated money
Got me the best neurosurgeon in town
Yes, I'm getting a lobotomy for Christmas
From my cynicism, I'll fin'ly be freed
Peace and love throughout the globe and a severed frontal lobe
What more could this old curmudgeon need?

Yes, I'm getting a lobotomy for Xmas
My behavior was getting awfully frightening
It was upsetting the kiddies when I sang those little ditties
About God and Santa killing you with lightning
Yes, I'm getting a lobotomy for Xmas
No more Scroogelike outbursts from me
Oh Santa, leave a kiddie car, and a 7-inch long scar
Oh, what a gift to find beneath the tree

Santa's elves have a new theory to keep the season cheery:
Zero tolerance for grumbling malcontents
If you're on Santa's list of pouters and criers,
They'll get the cranial saw and a pair of pliers
And after the first sting, you will not feel a thing
And you'll wake up with a grin on Xmas day
And when they threaten you with holly and say "You vill be jolly"
You'll have no other choice but to obey

Scalpels roasting in an autoclave,
Ether drifting up your nose
Rudolph, the neurosurgeon has a very shiny knife
and after the operation, you'll have a much more happy life
Slashing through the lobes, with sharp and sterile blade
Poking with a probe, aggression starts to fade
Waking up with a sore head
Stitches sown 'cross your forehead
You've lost the fight, now you're happy tonight
Drooling in a round-the-clock care ward

(slower):
Yes, I got a lobotomy for Xmas
A gift from Santa Claus and B.F. Skinner
Now I sit here all the while with a vacant smile
Till the attendant takes me to the Christmas dinner
Yes, I got a lobotomy for Xmas
Like Tiny Tim, I'm blissful as can be
I got my electric train and figgy pudding for a brain
No more independent thought for me...
Why, it's almost as effective as TV

All I lost for Xmas was my two frontal lobes...
And now that I'm a vegetable with no frontal lobes
Now I can wish you Merry Xmas

©2003 Dan Hart
(Stavro Arrgolus)
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