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Song Details
Redneck Wizard 
By: Jeff Reuben
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
Click Here for a Free Download of this song at 128k
Duration: 3:26 
Release Date: 6/6/2009  (DJ Particle) 
Lyrics By: Jeff Reuben (belowaveragedave) 
Music By: Vocals by Jeff Reuben (belowaveragedave) 
Produced By: Jeff Reuben (belowaveragedave) 
Released By:
Published By:
Licensing: CC 
  • Parody of Redneck Woman by Gretchen Wilson (belowaveragedave)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I don't do Pinot
    Not the Chardonay type
    But I can chug a case of beer
    And play D and D all night
    In the basement inside my momma's house
    Or at a NASCAR race tailgate
    I've got posters on my wall of Gandalf, Dale and Snape
    Don't call me a hayseed cause
    I'm no medieval dip
    I'll cast a spell to make yer buttcheeks swell
    Till you have to let one rip!

    Cause I'm a redneck wizard
    Mullet and my mage hat
    I'm strictly business on the front side
    A mystic party in the back
    And at night my friends and I go dragon tipping on my farm
    And I can woo my cousin with an invocation charm
    So if you hitch a trailer to your souped up Phantom Steed
    You might cast spells from the east boondocks school of sorcery

    Cure Wounds?! (Cure Ham!)

    Moet Dom Perignon
    Now that's some fine wine
    Oh but I bewitched my milking cow: so that now she makes moonshine!
    It makes me tipsy
    As a gypsy
    Plus I get my buzz for free
    And then I break out my own magic wand to make my wench want me
    My sis thinks I'm nerdy
    She calls me a big dork
    But she knows I've got her back
    When she fights goblins and orcs!

    Cause I'm a redneck wizard
    In robes and overalls
    I got a wand rack on my pickup
    I yell "Abraca-YEEHAW!"
    Weave enchantments helping Gordon, and curse Kyle Busch to hell
    And I know all the words to every Harry Potter spell
    If changing into camo means invisibility
    You might cast spells from the back-country school of sorcery

    Charm hick! (Charm hick!)

    I'm a redneck wizard
    I ain't no high class bard
    And I store all my magic potions
    In a crystal mason jar
    And I patch my robe with duct tape, start my grill with lightning bursts
    I'll fill your pond with snakeheads with an evil warlock curse
    If your broomstick has mudflaps, if your gun is a portkey
    You might cast spells from the West Virginia school of sorcery

    Phase Barn! (Phase Barn!)
    Hold Boob! (Hold Boob!)
    Kill Road! (Road Kill!)

    I said "Git er done!"
    Current Rating 10.0 (4 votes)
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