Lean Christmas  By: Devo Spice

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Duration:	3:42
Release Date:	12/9/2008  (DJ Particle)
Lyrics By:	T. Rockwell (Stavro Arrgolus)
Music By:	Tchaikovsky (Stavro Arrgolus)
Produced By:	T. Rockwell (Stavro Arrgolus)
Released By:	FIDIM Interactive, LLC (Stavro Arrgolus)
Published By:	FIDIM PUBLISHING (M_Robertcop)
Licensing:	CC
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Licensed under ASCAP #423861692 (M_Robertcop)

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Song Lyrics:

Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this My kids have half of Walmart on their wish list But I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge All around, hey now, found a quarter in the couch! "Alright, book of matches for Mommy." Things are pretty lean this year and I fear That there may be a real lack of holiday cheer Unless I come into some money, like if I won the lottery Or joined a blood bank, and dug into an artery 'Cause right now I just haven't got a dime Out of work, out of money, and I'm running out of time And I don't know what to do, man, haven't got a plan The way it's going our house will be as festive as Iran Most people shop at Toys R Us or at the mall I'm at the dollar store and can't afford nothin' at all I dig deep into my pocket to see what I can find Excuse me, what can I get for two buttons and a piece of twine? Hey there's a toy car with some dents And only three wheels, but it's marked down to ten cents Now if only I had that much money I'd be set Guess it's time to raid the fountain to see what I can get Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this My kids have half of Walmart on their wish list But I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge All around, hey now, found a dime in the couch! "Cool, now I can get my daughter that gumball she's been wanting." Maybe this won't be so bad after all I just need to get creative when I deck the halls Like instead of a tree I'll use that broom over there And hang some pantyhose by the chimney with care Outdoor decorations won't be hard I'll tie a branch on my dog and make him stand in the yard Poison ivy works as well as mistletoe can And for dinner we're gonna have a big ol' ham Sandwich that we'll have to split five ways And it's gonna have to last for a couple o' days And the trimmings, yeah, we're gonna have all of 'em Popcorn balls, potato chips, and M&Ms I can't afford eggnog or any other perk But I found a little three month old milk that ought to work And I think I still have a fruitcake from last year Around here somewhere, Merry Christmas, dear! Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this My kids have half of Walmart on their wish list But I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge All around, hey now, found a nickel in the couch! "This is going right to Grandma and Grandpa. I'll tell them to go to the casino and play the nickel slots. Maybe they'll win a dollar." But then my kid come to me with a list, and I think That there's no way in Hell I can afford any of this I say I'm sorry but I'm broke, there's no way that I can swing it And she says, that's OK, Daddy, Santa Claus will bring it And I feel my confidence rebound And know there's no way in Hell I'm gonna let my kids down 'Cause children and family are what it's all about And besides, what's one more mortgage on the house? Paperwork filed, rate's locked in Forty-seven signatures later I begin When I'm done shopping I'll be paying an amount For around thirty years so I better make it count For the girl, a life size walk in doll house With a robot maid and a butler named Klaus For the boy, I'll get him a race car bed One that actually drives and has cool tire tread For the baby, I'll get him this big pneumatic Type swing thing with toys, the Neglect-O-Matic™ And the wife, what woman could ask for more She likes shoes so much, now she owns the damn store For me, maybe I can finally get That private jet, nah, maybe I'll just get a Vette I'm up to my pancreas in debt, but hey What can I say? It's the American way Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this My kids have half of Walmart on their wish list But I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge All around, hey now, found a penny in the couch! "OK, I can put this on the train tracks, let a train run over it and give it to my son. Then he can have his own mutant,... squished... portrait of Lincoln.... or something." (Stavro Arrgolus)

Available on the following albums:
The FuMP, Volume 12	Gnome Sane
Contact us if you know of another album that contains this song

Played on 35 shows:
	12-24-22, #AOTA-221224		12-04-12, #BWR-12-12-04
	12-02-22, #WOTR_304		12-17-11, #AOTA-111217
	12-05-20, #AOTA-201205		12-17-11, #11-51
	07-18-20, #AOTA-200718		12-10-11, #AOTA-111210
	12-13-19, #WOTR_160		12-06-11, #BWR-11-12-06
	12-07-19, #AOTA-191207		12-24-10, #ROTP_331
	12-15-18, #AOTA-181215		12-18-10, #10-51
	12-08-17, #WOTR_63		12-13-09, #09-50
	12-10-16, #AOTA-161210		12-06-09, #09-49
	12-03-16, #WOTR_18		12-04-09, #BR-09-96
	12-25-15, #MMDT20_15-52		04-05-09, #MMS-122
	12-19-15, #AOTA-151219		12-20-08, #ROTP_226
	11-29-15, #BWR-15-11-29		12-19-08, #MMDT20_08-50
	12-14-14, #MMP-35		12-15-08, #MM-188
	12-09-14, #BWR-14-12-09		12-15-08, #FFM-XMAS08
	12-10-13, #BWR-13-12-10		12-12-08, #MMDT20_08-49
	12-07-13, #AOTA-131207		12-12-08, #BR-08-54
	12-08-12, #AOTA-121208
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