Sign-up FREE! View Cart Login
2 Online
Song Details
Rank this week: 29 (↑10)
Duration: 3:57 
Release Date: 2006  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Al Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Al Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Al Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Volcano (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By:
Song Lyrics:
Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more than
Marlon Brando loved soufflé
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Except she was always using the word "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
And I know that some guys can put up with that kinda thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why

And I told her, I said "Hey!
Are we playin' horseshoes, honey?
No I don't think we are"
You're close (close!)
But no cigar

Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a Habañero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searching around
I'd found my soul mate finally
But one day I found out she actually owned a copy
Of "Joe Dirt" on DVD

Oh no, I said "Hey!
Are we lobbin' hand grenades, kiddo?
No, I don't think we are"
You're close (close!)
Aw, so very close (close!)
Yeah baby, you're close (close!)
So close, but no cigar

Aw yeah
Aw no
Aw yeah
Aw no
Aw right!

Julie played water polo
She wore a ribbon on her left Manolo
She had me sweatin' like Nixon every time she was near
My heart was beatin' like a Buddy Rich solo
And she was everything I've dreamed of
She moved right up to #1 on my list
And did I mention she's a world-famous billionaire
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist?
Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Look like a big, fat, slobberin' pig
The only caveat is one of her earlobes was just
A little tiny bit too big

I said "Hey!
Are we doin' government work here?
No, I don't think we are"
You're close (close!)
So very, very close (close!)
Aw baby, you're close (close!)
So close, but no cigar
Missed it by that much (no cigar)
(Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na)
Aw yeah, aw right (no cigar)
(Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na)
Really, really, really close, but no cigar
(Na na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na)
(Sonic SBL)
Current Rating 8.4 (3 votes)
Song Images:
Messages about the song: "Close But No Cigar"
Enter a New Message
RadEditor - HTML WYSIWYG Editor. MS Word-like content editing experience thanks to a rich set of formatting tools, dropdowns, dialogs, system modules and built-in spell-check.
RadEditor's components - toolbar, content area, modes and modules
Toolbar's wrapper  
Content area wrapper
RadEditor's bottom area: Design, Html and Preview modes, Statistics module and resize handle.
It contains RadEditor's Modes/views (HTML, Design and Preview), Statistics and Resizer
Editor Mode buttonsStatistics moduleEditor resizer
RadEditor's Modules - special tools used to provide extra information such as Tag Inspector, Real Time HTML Viewer, Tag Properties and other.


Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

Home - News - Forums - Features - Shows - Songs - Artists - About - Friends - Blogs - Search - Help
© 2004-2019 Mad Music Productions, LLC, all rights reserved. Portions are Copyright by their respective copyright holders.