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Song Details
Rank this week: 17 (↑18)
Duration: 2:34 
Release Date: 2004  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Carla Ulbrich (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Carla Ulbrich (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By:
Released By: Official Seal (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By:
  • Parody of Carla's own "What If Your Girlfriend Was Gone" (czwrefsteven)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I was just wondering — hypothetically
    What would you do? Theoretically
    If something should happen accidentally or medically
    What if your butt was gone?

    If sitting in a wooden chair felt like tacks
    And you found you had nothing to hold up your slacks
    ’Cause instead of a butt, you now had just a crack
    Well, something would have to be done

    Would you write “Dear Abby” for advice in a letter
    Put a cushion in your chair to make it feel better
    Try to fatten up with brie and cheddar
    What if your butt was gone?

    If your butt disappeared without a trace
    And everyone looked all over the place
    Why do you have that look on your face?
    Hey, it could happen to you

    If that booty petootie; that sweet derriere
    Were now inexplicably no longer there
    How soon would you miss it? How much would you care?
    What do you think you would do?

    Would you call me up
    Would you fall to pieces
    Would you make it the topic of your doctoral thesis
    Try to go out and find a prosthesis
    What if your butt was gone?

    A butt, as you know, can be curvy or flat
    Dimpled or pimpled, skinny or fat
    Just like an opinion; everyone’s got one
    But what if your butt was suddenly not one?

    If something should happen hypothetically
    What would you do? Theoretically
    If something should happen accidentally or medically
    What if your butt was gone?

    Would you call me up
    Would you start confiding
    How you tried to make it grow with fluorescent lighting
    How you had to give up horseback riding
    What if your butt was gone?

    Would you realize there’s a good selection
    Shopping for clothes in the children’s section
    Go to your closet and make a commotion
    Take all your pants and throw ’em in the ocean

    Does your butt hang low
    Does it wobble to and fro
    Can you tie it in a knot
    Can you tie it in a bow
    Can you sling it over your shoulder
    Like a continental soldier
    What if your butt was gone?
    (Sonic SBL)
    Current Rating 9.3 (3 votes)
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "What If Your Butt Was Gone?"
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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