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Song Details
Duration: 3:31 
Release Date: 2001  (sfjpk30) 
Lyrics By: Tony Goldmark & "Blasted Bill" Putt (M_Robertcop) 
Music By: G.Ballard, A. Morrisette (M_Robertcop) 
Produced By: Kathi Kamen Goldmark & Joe Goldmark (M_Robertcop) 
Released By: DQYDJ Records (M_Robertcop) 
Licensing: ASCAP  #380367719 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
  • Parody of "Hand In My Pocket" by Alanis Morisette (M_Robertcop)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Tony: And now for something completely different.
    Old Guy: IT'S...

    (music starts)

    Old Woman 1: Oh, look, another Alanis Morrisette song
    Old Woman 2: No, it's a parody!
    Old Woman 1: Wha, you mean a "dead parody"?
    Old Woman 2: No, no, no!

    I'm selling dead parrots
    And chocolate with frogs
    And Spam served with Spam and Spam
    (Mrs. Bun: I don't want ANY Spam!)

    I work in a cheese shoppe
    I've got me a silly walk
    That's really not all that silly

    But what it all comes down to
    Is that I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
    (Mounties: He's a lumberjack and he's OK)
    'Cause there's a penguin on the telly
    And Dr. Bronowski knows how it got there

    Old Woman 2: How's he know that
    Old Woman 1: He knows everything.
    Old Woman 2: I wouldn't like that, it'd take the mystery out of life.

    I need a fish license
    And one for a 'alf-a-bee
    Nudge-nudge-wink-wink, say no more (Say no more!)

    We need a World Forum
    To feed Mr. Creosote
    'Cause every sperm is sacred

    And what it all comes down to
    Is I didn't expect a Spanish Inquisition
    There's a penguin on the telly
    And an argument isn't just contradiction

    Mr. Vibrating: Yes it is!
    Man: No it isn't!
    Mr. Vibrating: Yes it is!
    Man: No it isn't!
    Mr. Vibrating: Yes it is!
    Man: No it isn't!
    Mr. Vibrating: Yes it is!
    Man: No it isn't!
    Mr. Vibrating: Thank you!

    Tony: This song will now pause for a brief intermission.
    Concessions Man: ALBATROSS! ALBATROSS!
    Customer: Uh, two ice creams, please.
    Concessions Man: I don't have any ice creams! I just got the albatross!
    Customer: Well, what flavor is it?
    Concessions Man: It's not any bloody flavor! It's an albatross!
    Customer: Well, it's gotta be SOME kind of flavor.
    Concessions Man: All right! It's bloody albatross flavor!
    Customer: Do you get wafers with it?

    And what it all comes down to
    Is the philosophy department's name is Bruce
    (Bruce: 'Ot enough t' boil a monkey's bum in 'ere!)
    There's a penguin on the telly
    And it is a-bout to explode

    Old Woman 1: How'd he know THAT would happen?!
    TV Announcer: It was an inspired guess.

    Now, bring me a shrubbery
    For the Knights Who Say "Ni"!
    Then cut a tree with...a herring!

    I'm stoning the Romans
    'Cause what have they done for us
    I'll just look on life's bright side

    And what it all comes down to
    Is you've never seen such a foul-tempered rodent
    (Knights: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!)
    But there's a penguin on the telly
    And a naked man is playing an organ

    Old Woman 1: Ooo, cheeky, isn't he?
    Old Woman 2: That's a rather bad joke!

    And what it all comes down to, my friends, yeah,
    Is that everything here is...

    (Sergeant-Major comes in)


    Sergeant-Major: Stop the CD! Stop the music! Stop it!

    (music stops)

    Sergeant-Major: Now, I've noticed a tendency for this CD to get rather silly! Now, I like Alanis Morrisette parodies as much as the next person but that's besides the point! That last song you had was very silly indeed! And this one is even SILLIER, so I'm putting a stop to it! And if there is to be any continuation of this sort of silliness, I shall come down upon this CD like a ton of bricks! Far too silly! And, furthermore...
    Sergeant-Major: YAH!
    Current Rating 9.5 (6 votes)
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "Penguin On The Telly"
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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