Smogberry Pie  By: Tony Goldmark

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Duration:	8:29
Release Date:	10/10/2025
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Licensing:	CC ()
Keywords:	DR. DEMENTO, STAY DEMENTED, THE DR. DEMENTO SHOW

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Parody of "American Pie" by Don McLean." (Wacky Ben)

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Wind up your radio I can still remember that mad music And crazy comedy With stacks and stacks of laughin' wax One doctor stood above the quacks Each week for over half a century But now the doctor's made it final He's packin' up his tapes and vinyl No more record-breakers Nor noise from his noisemakers He leaves behind the show's archives Where we still can take some strange deep dives Into the Funny 55 Back when the Doc was in Oh Fish Heads, roly poly fish heads Trees are smoggy, puppy doggies Aren't much fun when they're dead With his black tuxedo and top hat on his head He said, "Don't forget to stay demen-ted." Don't forget to stay demen-ted. Were you playin' blues guitar Back when Nervous Norvus crashed his car On Pico and Sepulveda? Did you raspberry in Der Fuhrer's Face? Do you know how purple people taste? And can you come to take me 'way, ha-haaa-hahahaha? Well, I know you've heard the bird's the word So which pigeon poison is preferred? And Steven Clean’s obscene So turn off the bubble machine! I was a tulip tip-toein' twisted twit With a ten-inch record of a Chipmunks hit And just who else would play this shaving cream? The Doc was in I was requestin' Fish Heads, roly poly fish heads Hello Mudduh, Big Fat Butterfingers Irving is dead Does your gum lose flavor on the post of your bed? Well then, don’t forget to stay demen-ted Don’t forget to stay demen-ted Now, the Vikings sang of processed meat And junk food that all the junkies eat But don’t you eat that yellow snow When another one rode the Belvedere Hank and Stu, and Hank but Dave's not here He got smoked by rolling way too slow Oh, and while the streak showed off his butt We time warped back to old King Tut The geeks were pencil-necked Scotsmen in kilts got wrecked And though I felt existentially blue We made love in my Subaru While locked in closets with Sulu Back when the Doc was in We're requestin' Fish Heads, have a boot to the head Cincinnati was too fatty, but the cockroach was fed The homecoming queen is gonna fill us with lead Screaming "Don't forget to stay demen-ted" Don't forget to stay demen-ted Trekkin', Drekin', give us just a second Week of deer camp and we might beckon Some great turdy-pointer buck And Will read the Demented News But where did you put the Mountain Dews? They're in Sandler's piece of sh(honk!) car, best of luck Now the vegetable rights activists Remind me of my therapist The Foremen froze over Hell Oh, cellists hate that Pachelbel! Well, the cows rose up with loaded guns While Happy Noodle fought and won Truly the saga had begun Back when the Doc was in We were requestin' Fish Heads, making you smile in bed Shield your daughters from the waters where Viagra was spread When you see that bulbous bouffant on someone's head Just say "Don't forget to stay demen-ted" Don't forget to stay demen-ted Oh Shoebox had a great song idear The vacuum fills my cat with fear And Henry's all alone again So come on, steal like hobbits, eat some brains Raichu some Pokémon refrains And instead of funny five we’ll count to ten I just forgot Doctor Strange's name It sucks to get so old and lame YOLO, just once you live I've no more FuMPs to give! And at the great showdown of destiny As Ookla laughed maniacally They all covered punk with Dr. D That's right, the Doc was in Still requestin' Fish Heads, pee your pants knuckleheadz Carla's copyright was sloppy, tell me what the fox said And the Wolves of Glendale bought a sweet thoroughbred Neighin' "don't forget to stay demen-ted" Don't forget to stay demen-ted They called it all a novelty A forgettable frivolity That wasn't how it made me feel Real life always seemed so absurd Especially to such an awkward nerd That to my mind, funny music felt more real We're gonna miss these weekly trips Say "cheerio" to your cherry lips Good luck with your endeavors Stay demented forever! Tom Petty sang of The Last DJ To play whatever he wants to play His words are only true today Now that…the doctor's…out. So I’m requestin' Fish Heads, roly poly fish heads Trees are smoggy, puppy doggies Aren't much fun when they’re dead With his black tuxedo and top hat on his head He said, "Don't forget to stay demen-ted." Don't forget to stay demen-ted. We're requestin' Fish Heads, roly poly fish heads Trees are smoggy, puppy doggies Aren't much fun when they’re dead With his black tuxedo and top hat on his head He said, "Don't forget to stay demen-ted." Yeah. (Captain Wayne)

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Played on 3 shows:
	12-27-25, #AOTA-251227		11-14-25, #SF_114
	11-28-25, #SF_116
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