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Song Details
Duration: 3:53 
Release Date: (Tim P. Ryan) 
Lyrics By: Michael Flanders, Donald Swann (Tim P. Ryan) 
Music By: Michael Flanders, Donald Swann (Tim P. Ryan) 
Produced By: George Martin (Tim P. Ryan) 
Released By:
Published By:
  • Also known as Have Some Madeira, M'Dear. This version by Flanders & Swan is just Madeira, M'Dear as listed on their album, At The Drop Of A Hat. (Tim P. Ryan)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Have Some Madeira, M'Dear
    Lyrics as performed by Flanders and Swann

    She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice
    She was fair, she was sweet seventeen
    He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice
    He was base, he was bad, he was mean
    He had slyly inveigled her up to his flat
    To view his collection of stamps
    And he said as he hastened to put out the cat
    The wine, his cigar and the lamps

    Have some madeira, m'dear
    You really have nothing to fear
    I'm not trying to tempt you, that wouldn't be right
    You shouldn't drink spirits at this time of night
    Have some madeira, m'dear
    It's really much nicer than beer
    I don't care for sherry, one cannot drink stout
    And port is a wine I can well do without
    It's simply a case of chacun a son gout
    Have some madeira, m'dear

    Unaware of the wiles of the snake-in-the-grass
    And the fate of the maiden who topes
    She lowered her standards by raising her glass
    Her courage, her eyes and his hopes
    She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did
    He promptly refilled it again
    And he said as he secretly carved one more notch
    On the butt of his gold-headed cane

    Have some madeira, m'dear, I've got a small cask of it here
    And once it's been opened, you know it won't keep
    Do finish it up, it will help you to sleep
    Have some madeira, m'dear, it's really an excellent year
    Now if it were gin, you'd be wrong to say yes
    The evil gin does would be hard to assess
    Besides it's inclined to affect me prowess
    Have some madeira, m'dear

    Then there flashed through her mind what her mother had said
    With her antepenultimate breath
    "Oh my child, should you look on the wine that is red
    Be prepared for a fate worse than death"
    She let go her glass with a shrill little cry
    Crash! tinkle! it fell to the floor
    When he asked, "What in Heaven?" she made no reply
    Up her mind, and a dash for the door

    Have some madeira, m'dear, rang out down the hall loud and clear
    A tremulous cry that was filled with despair
    As she paused to take breath in the cool midnight air
    Have some madeira, m'dear, the words seemed to ring in her ear
    Until the next morning, she woke up in bed
    With a smile on her lips and an ache in her head
    And a beard in her ear 'ole that tickled and said
    Have some madeira, m'dear

    (Tim P. Ryan)
    Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "Madeira M'Dear"
    Halgar   Offline  -  Member  -  06-10-06 12:51 AM  -  15 years ago
    Songs about rape just aren't funny to me.
    Enter a New Message
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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