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Song Details
Rank this week: 14 (↑32)
Duration: 9:05 
Release Date: 7/15/2014  (DJ Particle) 
Lyrics By: Al Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Al Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Al Yankovic (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: RCA (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Ear Booker Music (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Keywords:
Reviews:
Facts:
  • Style parody of Cat Stevens (Hatman)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Tuesday morning, 8:15
    I was riding to work on the
    Jackson Park Express
    Seemed like any other day
    Then my whole world changed
    In a way I never could have guessed
    'Cause she walked in
    Took the seat right across the aisle
    I knew we had a special connection
    The second I saw her smile

    She smiled as if to say
    "Hello, haven't seen you on this bus before"
    I gave her a look that said
    "Huh, life is funny, you never know what's in store
    By the way, your hair is beautiful
    I bet it smells like raisins"

    She looked at me in a way that asked
    "Did you have a nose job or something?
    I'm only asking, 'cause your nose looks slightly better
    Than the rest of your face"
    I arched my eyebrow, ever so slightly
    Which was my way of asking
    "Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer?
    It still works, kinda
    And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left"

    Then, she let out a long sigh
    Which, I took to mean, "Uh"
    "Mama, what is that deodorant you're wearing?
    It's intoxicating
    Why don't we drive out to the country sometime?
    And collect deer ticks in a zip-lock baggie".
    Oh yeah

    I gave her a penetrating stare
    Which could only mean
    "You are my answer, my answer to everything
    Which is why, I'll probably do very poorly
    On the written part of my driver's test"

    [Chorus:]
    Yes, It all happened
    On the Jackson Park Express
    On the Jackson Park Express
    On the Jackson Park Express
    On the Jackson Park Express

    I knew she was starting to fall for me
    Cause she crinkled her nose, which unmistakably meant
    "Baby, lets wear each other's clothes
    And speak in a Victorian accent
    And, maybe someday we can own and operate
    Our own mobile pet-grooming service"
    I couldn't hold back my feelings
    I gave her a look, that said
    "I would make any sacrifice for your love
    Goat, chicken, whatever
    I could never hold you close enough
    Let's have our bodies surgically grafted together
    Oh, surgically grafted together"

    She picked up her newspaper, and started reading to herself
    Which I'm sure, was a way of telling me
    "When you're cold, I will warm you
    When you're shivering, I will hold you
    When your nauseous, I will give you Pepto-Bismol every hour
    For as long as the symptoms persist"
    Oh, I, I never, ever want to see you cry
    So, please let me cauterize your tear ducts with an arc welder
    Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second
    In a way that clearly implied
    "I like your boobs"

    [Chorus]

    I cleared my throat quietly, and then, I looked away
    And I'm sure it was obvious to her, just what I was trying to say
    I was trying to say, "Hey
    I'd like to make a wall-sized mural out of all the dead skin cells
    That you slough off while you sleep at night"
    Whoa-o-Oh, "I'd like to rip you wide open
    And french-kiss every single one of your internal organs
    Oh, I'd like to remove all your skin, and wear your skin, over my own skin
    But not in a creepy way"

    Then, I'm pretty sure, she looked at me, out of the corner of her good eye
    And, though, she never spoke a word, this is exactly what I heard
    She was saying, "Oh!
    I wanna make out with you, in an abandoned toll-booth, in the middle of a monsoon
    I wanna ride dolphins with you, in the moonlight
    Until the staff at Sea World kicks us out
    I want you inside me, oh, like a tapeworm"

    I pointed to the side of my mouth, as a way of indicating
    "Hey, I think you got something on the side of your mouth"
    She licked the corner of her lips, as if to say
    "Here?", I nodded, implying, "Yeah, you got it"

    And, then the bus stopped, at 53rd Street, and she got up suddenly
    "Where are you going?", pleaded my eyes, "Baby, don't you do this to me
    Think of the beautiful children we could have someday
    We could school them at home, raise them up the right way
    And protect them from the evils of the world
    Like trigonometry and prime numbers, oh no
    Baby, please don't go"

    She brushed my leg, as she left the bus
    I'm sure that was her way of saying
    "I'm sorry this just isn't working out
    You're suffocating me
    I need some space to find out what life's all about
    So, goodbye forever, my love"

    And deep inside, I knew she was right
    It was time for us both to move on
    And though, I never got her number, oh no no
    She never bothered to leave her address, oh
    But, as long as I live, I'll never forget
    Those precious moments we shared together

    On the Jackson Park Express
    On the Jackson Park Express
    On the Jackson Park Express
    On the Jackson Park Express
    On the Jackson Park Express
    On the Jackson Park Express
    On the Jackson Park Express
    On the Jackson Park Express
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
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    Current Rating 9.8 (1 vote)
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