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Song Details
Rank this week: 39 (↑7)
Release Date: 2001 
Lyrics By: Leslie Fish (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Leslie Fish (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By:
Released By:
Published By:
Song Lyrics:
Listen and I tell you
How it's done
If you want a woman
Learn from one
Don't assume this is all for your fun
These are not the ways to get laid
First don't ignore that measuring tape
And chow down 'til you loose your shape
'Cause nobody beds with moby gray
This is not the way to get laid
Don't play the cool, sophisticate
To show how smart you are
Tellin' all your kinky fantasies (a great line!)
Just won't get you very far
Don't skip washing
Do it well
Don't let laundry go to hell
Don't think women like the smell
This is not the way to get laid
And when some babe comes into view
Don't let hormones think for you
And start by saying
"Hi, let's screw!"
This is not the way to get laid
Don't pour your life story out
On every handy ear
Let's get real
Your life is a bore
Or else you wouldn't still be here
Now don't be gross when you begin
Or tell plump girls you like 'em thin
Or brag of where your tongue has been
This is not the way to get laid
Don't assume they love your body
Or that your dick is a holy rod
Or that your feelings are the word of god
This is not the way to get laid
No one's gonna fill your bed
Just because you're you
Nobody cares what you think or feel
Unless you give them reason to
'Cause if you talk and act like a dirty shmoe
Look and smell like a buffalo
Then even the whores are gonna say no
This is not the way to laid
Grow up baby
And don't say maybe
Or else you'll never get laid
(Stavro Arrgolus)
Current Rating 7.0 (1 vote)
Played on 3 shows:
02-14-19, #MMS-23109-27-08, #ROTP_214
10-08-10, #ROTP_320
= Show you can listen to online
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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