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Song Details
Duration: 1:53 
Release Date: 9/23/2003  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Lewis Black (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Black/Machnik/Schlissel (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Comedy Central Records CCR0020 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Black Humor, Inc. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
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Facts:
  • This bit is also performed on his 'Black on Broadway' cable special. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    ...know it's the coldest winter literally that I can remember in my life. Y'know, it was really nice weather if you were a ...******' moose. If you had fur on your nuts, it was a festival out there. I didn't have a thought the whole winter. Seriously, I spent the whole winter...the only thought I had was...f**k, IT'S COLD! Or it's cold as f**k! Halfway through the winter I decided I didn't want to be a comic anymore. I wanted to be a bear. Because bears are more evolved. It gets cold and what does the bear do? It goes, "I'm goin' to BED! This blows!" And it gets warm and he goes, "What? f**k it. Time to wake up."

    They gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it; why they came up with it; it's a lie. They go, "It's 27 degrees today, but with the wind chill, it's minus three." Well then, it's minus THREE, a*****e! I don't need to know what the weather was like if conditions were perfect. It was just..it was too goddamn cold...and there's no reason for that.

    You shouldn't have to live under these kind of conditions during the winter. We had a huge surplus a few years ago and I'd like to figure out where the f**k it WENT! And we even have money now that could be used for a project that I have to prevent this kind of nonsense. Y'know, we just had the President and the Congress, in their infinite wisdom, decided that what would really stimulate the economy is a 350 billion dollar tax cut at a TIME in which every ******' state in the union is BROKE! WE DON'T HAVE ANY ******' MONEY! SO WHAT THE f**k..WHAT ARE YOU CUTTING...WHAT TAX MONEY ARE YOU CUTTING...WHAT THE f**k'S BEING CUT? IT'S NOT THERE! IT'S NOOOOOT f***ing THERE! IT DOESN'T EXIST! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STIMULATE ANYTHING IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO ******'...YOU JUST MADE THE MONEY UP, YOU f***ing ASSHOLES!

    So as long as they think we have that money, then we should use that money to build a giant wall up in Canada. Because that's...where the cold air comes from.

    ©2003 Black Humor, Inc.
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    HyperLink  
    Current Rating 9.3 (1 vote)
    Played on 3 shows:
    02-08-09, #MMCZ 09-0501-06-08, #MMS-107
    01-23-09, #MMDT20_09-04
    = Show you can listen to online
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "The Coldest Winter EVER!"
     
     
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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