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Song Lyrics: |
ELDER PRALINE Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath.
MATTHIAS [to a guard] Do I say yes?
LIMESTONE Yes.
MATTHIAS [To the elder] Yes.
ELDER PRALINE You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our lord, and so as a BLASPHEMER...
CROWD Ooooh.
ELDER ... you are to be stoned to death!
--[The crowd looks anxious to kill Matthias, growling in a feminine way]
MATTHIAS Look. I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah'.
CROWD Oooooooh!
ELDER PRALINE BLASPHEMY!!!! He said it again!
CROWD Yes! Yes, he did! He did!...
ELDER PRALINE Did you hear him?
CROWD Yes! Yes, we did! We did!...
MR. CINDY (high-pitched) Really.
--[There is a moment of silence as the elder thinks, after hearing the woman's voice.]
ELDER PRALINE Are there any... women here today?
CROWD (guilty mumbling)
ELDER PRALINE (convinced) Very well. By virtue of the authority vested in me...
--[One of the more impatient women throws a stone and hits Matthias on the head.]
MATTHIAS Oh! Lay off... we haven't started yet.
ELDER PRALINE Come on. Who threw that? Who threw that stone? Come on.
CROWD She did! She did! Er, he, he, he, him, him, him, he did... [Their voices drop as they realize their mistake.]
MR. STEPHANIE Sorry, I thought we'd started.
ELDER PRALINE Go to the back.
MR. STEPHANIE Oh, dear.
ELDER PRALINE Always one, isn't there? Now, where were we?
MATTHIAS Look, I don't think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying Jehovah.
CROWD [Shocked] He said it again!
ELDER PRALINE You're only making it worse for yourself.
MATTHIAS Making it worse? How could it be worse? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah!!
CROWD Oooooooh!
ELDER PRALINE I'm warning you...! If you say Jehovah once more... [A stone flies by and hits the elder.] Right. Who threw that? Come on. Who threw that?
CROWD She did! She did! Er, he, him, him, him, him, him, him...
ELDER Was it you?
MR. VICTORIA Yes.
ELDER Right...
MR. VICTORIA Well, you did say Jehovah. [She gets stoned]
ELDER (out of breath and furious) Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say 'Jehovah'.
--[The women rapidly stone the elder to death, ending in the dropping of a huge boulder on his fallen body. Much applause.]
MR. CINDY Good shot.
(Stavro Arrgolus) |
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