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Song Details
Todd the T1000 
By: Jonathan Coulton
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
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Duration: 3:46 
Release Date: 9/1/2005  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Jonathan Coulton (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Jonathan Coulton (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Jonathan Coulton (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Jonathan Coulton (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By:
Licensing: CC 
Keywords:
Reviews:
Facts:
  • The name "T-1000" is a reference to the "T-1000," the shape-shifting robot from "Terminator 2: Judgement Day". (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • "The XJ-9 that we used to call Jane" is a reference to the TV show "My Life as a Teenage Robot", which starred a playful female named XJ-9 nicknamed Jenny. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Sometimes I kind of miss the old XJ-9 that we used to call Jane
    Really good at cleaning and we got along fine so I couldn't complain
    Lately she'd been getting tangled up in the shag rug
    And finally one wheel just wouldn't spin
    So we said our goodbyes and I traded her in

    This new one's kind of creepy, makes me shudder inside with his idiot grin
    He's head to toe with muscles and they ripple and slide under translucent skin
    Sometimes he'll stand for hours looking into the mirror
    And flexing like some guy at the gym
    And I'm easily ten inches shorter than him

    Todd the T1000 scares me
    I don't think he knows I've got a right to exist
    And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
    And when I look over he is making a fist
    One finger at a time

    I ask him if he'll vacuum and he doesn't respond, but I know that he heard
    I turn and catch him looking when he thinks that I've gone and he flips me the bird
    I asked him when we started, please stay out of the bedroom
    But I don't think I'm safe anywhere
    When I wake in the dark I can tell that he's there

    Todd the T1000 scares me
    I don't think he knows I've got a right to exist
    And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
    And when I look over he is making a fist
    One finger at a time

    So I live like a ghost while he's living like me
    It's not my house anymore
    And I sneak out the door while he's watching TV
    Head down to the cyborg store
    I get some new arms installed at the store
    Buy the biggest ones I can
    Head back to my house, Todd answers the door
    He sees more than just a man

    My right arm is a smasher like the trunk of a tree and the left one's a saw
    I cut the couch in half and then I smash the TV with my big smashy claw
    He's standing still and silent, I can't tell what he's thinking
    He blinks a single glowing red eye
    So I give him a shove and then Todd starts to cry

    Todd the T1000 scares me
    But I think he knows I've got a right to exist
    And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
    But when he looks over I am making a fist
    One finger at a time
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
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    Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
    Played on 2 shows:
    12-28-09, #DRP_ep00509-12-09, #ROTP_264
    = Show you can listen to online
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