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Song Details
Rank this week: 32 (↑21)
Duration: 2:02 
Release Date: 1986  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Eardrum 90523-1 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Dead Sea Music Inc. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Song Lyrics:
I'll tell ya one thing about my personal life that I've never told before. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.
And I think that ought to count. I think that ought to go in your record as a positive achievement.

Never fucked a one, hey. Never got drunk enough to f**k a one. You gotta be druuuunk ta f**k a one! 'Course some guys'll f**k anybody, y'know. "Hey, let's f**k her." "That's a sign post, Bob!" "Weeeelll let's go for it." Some guys'll f**k anybody. Not me...not anymore. Not since herpes and AIDS are going around. In fact, just to be on the safe side, I'm not even jerking off any more. Well, I don't know where I've been.

Lately, I began thinking about bisexuals and thinking what an awful life that must be. What a curse it must be to be a bisexual. Can you imagine wanting to f**k everybody you meet? Think of all the phone numbers you'd accumulate. You might as well just walk around with the White Pages under your arm. And y'know, I've always wanted to work in a delicatessen just so that a woman would come in one day and ask me to give her some tongue. And I'd say, "Well, I don't get off till 4 o'clock." And she'd say, "Well, I don't get off at all, that's why I'm looking for some tongue!" So far, I just haven't had the opportunity.
(Stavro Arrgolus)
Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
Song Images:
Messages about the song: "Five Twos"
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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