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Song Details
Duration: 5:53 
Release Date: 1993  (Tim P. Ryan) 
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Keywords: DOROTHY, MALL, SHOPPING, TOTO 
Reviews:
Facts:
  • A spoof with the characters from "The Wizard Of Oz" (Dave AuJus)
  • Santa Claus learns how to use the technology of 1993. (Tim P. Ryan)
  • Song Lyrics:

    DOROTHY: Look Toto, there it is, the mall. Gee, it's a lot bigger than the stores back home.
    I'll bet they waste a lot of electricity with all those decorations. I sure hope Santa's there.


    DOORMAN: Who are you?

    DOROTHY: I'm Dorothy and I'm trying to find Santa's workshop.

    DOORMAN: The mall is closed! Now go away!



    DOROTHY: But we've come so far on the yellow snow road. My shoes got wrecked and I brought Auntie Em's gold card with me. It's got a ten thousand dollar limit...

    DOORMAN: Now, now, calm down little girl. You got a gold card? Why didn't you say so? That's a card of a different color. Come on in!



    CLAUS: Ho, Ho, Ho. I am the overweight and wonderful Claus. Who dares disturb my long winters nap?

    DOROTHY: If you please sir, Mr. Claus, I'm Dorothy, and I want...


    CLAUS: Silence! The great Claus knows why you are here. Look it's been a long day. My lap is tired and I'm outta film. Besides, I have to feed my reindeer.


    DOROTHY: Hey! Who's that?

    CLAUS: Pay no attention to that skinny guy behind the escalator. The one with the pillow tied around his waist. I am the overweight and wonderful... (voice changes) Claus. Oh man, am I starvin'. Uh, you got a sandwich on you?

    DOROTHY: Why, you're not Santa Claus at all.

    CLAUS: Well I'm afraid I am. You see Mrs. Claus put me on the Slim Fast Diet. I'm supposed to have a belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly. Now all I have is shakes: one for breakfast, one for lunch, and a sensible cookie and skim milk for dinner. I hate it.

    DOROTHY: But Santa, how come you're not making toys up at the North Pole? It's almost Christmas.

    CLAUS: Oh, I'm out of the manufacturing business, Dorothy. I'm just a middleman now.

    DOROTHY: But don't you still deliver the toys?

    CLAUS: Oh yeah, guaranteed overnight delivery, absolutely, positively by 2 a.m.

    DOROTHY: Well, where do you get the presents? (DOORBELL RINGS)

    CLAUS: Oh, uh, hang on a second Dorothy.

    DELIVERY BOY: Delivery for a Mr. Kringle. Ah, sign here please. Oh, thank you a very much.

    CLAUS: Put them over there by the VCR, Okay? Thanks a lot guys.

    DOROTHY: Gee, what happened to Santa's workshop?

    CLAUS: You know, looking back, I should have seen it coming. Boy, I was the king of the North Pole. I wasn't afraid of nobody. I could build anything.

    CLAUS AND ELVES SINGING:
    But then the kids got into Go-Bots
    Nintendo games and robots
    It wasn't quite the same
    I could make a thousand scooters
    But I never learned computers
    So the shop went down the drain

    We were busy building wagons
    Till orders started draggin'
    It really was a shame
    The Japanese were on a mission
    We were blind to competition
    We was busy makin' trains

    We thought we made it all
    From Barbie dolls to rubber balls
    But Betsy Wetsy took a fall
    They marked her down; she's at the mall

    Oh the games are complicated
    That joysticks overrated
    It really rots your brain
    All the kids would be in heaven
    Instead of hangin' at 7-11
    If they only had a train



    DOROTHY: I guess Santa's workshop is gone forever.
    CLAUS: Oh I'm sorry, Dorothy. I wish there was somethin' I could do to help, but I gotta get busy.
    It's almost Christmas and I gotta put batteries in all these gameboys.
    DELIVERY BOY: Look, here comes someone who can help.
    CLAUS: How does she do that?
    DELIVERY BOY: Very easy, holographic projection; latest technology


    DOROTHY: Oh, can you help?
    GOOD WITCH: Santa never needed any help; he's had the power to work at The North Pole all along.
    CLAUS: I do? I mean I did? I do?
    DOROTHY: So what should we do? Click our heals together?
    GOOD WITCH: Oh no, that only works in the movies. All he has to do is just hook these up.
    DOROTHY: Why, it's a fax machine.
    CLAUS: And a cellular phone with voice messaging. And look, a pager! I'm back in business. HO HO HO!


    DOROTHY: Can it be true? Will the elves be making toys again?

    CLAUS: They will if they move to Mexico. I can save a bundle if I do my manufacturing south of the border.
    And with these gizmos, I can keep track of who's naughty and who's nice from anywhere.

    DOROTHY: Jimminy Christmas. Oh, no!

    (Dave AuJus)
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    Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
    Played on 2 shows:
    12-13-19, #WOTR_16012-11-10, #MMS-135
    = Show you can listen to online
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