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| Facts: |
| One of the concert versions of the 'Bruces Philosopher's Song'. (Stavro Arrgolus) |
| Web pages about this song: |
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| Song Lyrics: |
(Greetings all round) Other Bruce: How are ya, Bruce?
Eric Idle: I'm a bit crooked, Bruce. I just saw a pommy streaker in the Ilscourt Road. Other Bruce: Must've looked like a bald wallaby! Idle: Good evening, Ladies and Bruces. Bruce and myself come from the philosophical department of the University of Woolomaloo. I'm in charge of logical positivism, and Bruce is in charge of the sheep dip. And we've been asked to come along here and, uh, tell you about some of the wonderful philosophers we study in Australia. We've agreed to tell you about these philosophers under one condition. Condition One: NO POOFTERS! What's the condition? (audience:) NO POOFTERS! (drunk shout from crowd) Idle: There's a couple Digidivians up there in the balcony, but apart from that, we're fairly safe. Other Bruce: Well spotted, Bruce.
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed
(Stavro Arrgolus) |
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