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Song Details
Rank this week: 31 (↑16)
Duration: 2:42 
Release Date: 1999  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Trey Parker/ Marc Shaiman (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Trey Parker/ Marc Shaiman (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Parker/Stone/Shaiman (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Columbia (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Chuckle Channel Music Inc. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: ASCAP  #421651878 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
  • On this album version, an impersonated Neil Diamond joins in on the embellished half of the song. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Kyle's part of the song is originally from the 1st South Park Christmas special (Ep. 10- "Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo" Dec. 17, 1997) (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
    My friends won't let me join in any games
    And I can't sing Christmas songs
    or decorate a Christmas tree
    or leave water out for Rudolph
    'cause there's something wrong with me
    My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity

    I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew, on Christmas

    Hanukkah is nice, but why is it
    that Santa passes over my house every year?
    And instead of eating ham
    I have to eat Kosher latkes
    Instead of "Silent Night", I'm singing
    "Hoo Hack Toh Gaveesh"
    And what the f**k is up
    with lighting all these f***ing candles
    Tell me, please?

    I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew
    I can't be merry, 'cause I'm Hebrew
    on Christmas

    (Neil Diamond impersonator):
    Hey, little boy, I couldn't help but hear
    You're feeling left out of Christmas cheer
    But I've come to say that you shouldn't be sad
    This is the one month that you should be glad

    'Cause it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas
    You don't have to deal with the season at all
    You don't have to be on your best behavior
    or give to charity
    And you don't have to go to your Grandma's house
    with your alcoholic family

    And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
    and have him breathe his stinky breath on me

    (Fake N. Diamond):
    That's right- You're a Jew

    A stylin' Jew

    It's a good time to be Hebrew on Christmas

    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    Current Rating 9.3 (1 vote)
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "The Lonely Jew on Christmas"
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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