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Song Details
Rank this week: 38 (↑12)
Duration: 2:11 
Release Date: 1966  (Tim P. Ryan) 
Lyrics By: Allan Sherman, Al Lerner (M_Robertcop) 
Music By: Allan Sherman, Al Lerner (M_Robertcop) 
Produced By:
Released By: Warner Bros. (M_Robertcop) 
Licensing: ASCAP  #390215328 (M_Robertcop) 
Song Lyrics:
If I could play the piano
Like I'd like to play the piano,
I would sit down at the piano,
And I'd play.
That's how I'd play the piano night and day.

If I could play the banjo
Like I'd like to play the banjo,
I'd go out and buy a banjo
And a pick.
I mean I'd play the banjo really slick.

If I could play the bongos,
I'd go get a set of drums.
I'd entertain my chums
And then they'd call me twinkle thumbs.

But I can't play the piano,
Or the banjo, or the bongos,
'Cause when I sit down to play
The people laugh.
So I guess I'll have to play my phonograph.

But my phonograph is broke,
My phonograph is broke,
My phonograph is broke,
I bought it in Hoboken,
They fixed it in Shamokin,
I mean it, I'm not jokin'.
My phonograph is broke,
Let's finish this, I'm chokin'.
I'm chokin' and I'm croakin'.
Hey, stop the music.
Stop the music.
Stop the music!
Stop the music!

The following big finish comes to you from that other great piano player, Van

Tank you!
Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
Played on 1 show:
01-12-17, #MMS-211
= Show you can listen to online
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Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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