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Song Details
I’ve Got A Wife 
By: Worm Quartet
Play Song (Creative Commons License):
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Duration: 2:25 
Release Date: 2006  (sfjpk30) 
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Licensing: CC 
  • This track is available on the compilation CD "Technobabble" (peterpuck9)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I'm 6 foot four three hundred pounds a chunk a bulgin' love

    A couple chins below my head, a mullet perched above

    A software engineer by trade, pure geeky through and through

    I can quote Stroustrup or Douglas Adams 'til my face turns blue

    Now you would think with stats like these that I'd find no affection

    'cept within the crackling pages of an old Penthouse collection

    But the Gods of love and logic must have been off for a day

    Cuz a real live woman married me, and she seems inclined to stay

    I often find it stunning

    It seems to disagree

    To everything I've ever seen

    In movies or TV

    Where the fat kid gets no fanfare

    And his minor wins are muffled

    So this victory's for every nerd

    Who's ever truffle shuffled

    Cuz I've got a wife where my porn should be

    My porn should be

    My porn should be

    I've got a wife where my porn should be

    My porn should be oh yeah

    My comic book collection hits the ceiling of my room

    It's a techie-haven basement lair that's never seen a broom

    Where I P2P and RPG and swear I'll never rest

    'Til every console I own emulates the Atari VCS (Kim: Why?)

    Screeching Weasel and Weird Al stare at me from my walls

    A sump pump in the corner helps me cope when nature calls (Not really)

    Now take this mental image, and keep it in your head

    But where the blow-up doll belongs, insert a girl instead

    A mind with any sanity

    This fact is sure to vex

    I've got John DeLancie's autograph

    But also I've had sex

    These hands that solder circuitry

    And code in SunOS

    Have also felt the fleshy touch

    Of human female breasts

    Cuz I've got a wife where my porn should be

    My porn should be

    My porn should be

    I've got a wife where my porn should be

    My porn should be oh yeah

    (x 2?)

    I've got a wiiiiife where my porn should be

    I've got a wiiiiife where my porn should be


    ShoEboX: For more information about my wife, please consult the song 'My Wife' from my third full-length CD

    'Faster Than a Speeding Mullet,' available as we speak from

    Kim: That's a cheap plug

    ShoEboX: It's not a plug. It's a bibliography.
    Current Rating 4.1 (1 vote)
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