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Song Details
Rank this week: 36 (↑12)
Duration: 3:56 
Release Date: 12/21/1999  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Grenga/Stevens/Johnson (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Grenga/Stevens/Johnson (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Ed Grenga (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Ball Bag Records 1002-2 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Handsome Brothers Music Publishing (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: ASCAP  #550379170 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Keywords: CHRISTMAS, ELDERLY, FAMILY, FRUITCAKE 
Reviews:
Facts:
  • From the album "Ol' Blue Balls is Back" (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    You know, they say Christmas is a time for givin'. At least that's what the Good Book says. And at our house every Christmas Eve, my son and daughter and their families drive down from the big city for an old-fashioned family holiday. Heck, Ma dresses up the house like a Christmas card. You can hear her in the kitchen singin' while she's bakin' cookies for the children and she spends hours wrappin' the presents she's been buyin' since last August. She hangs all the stockings all over the fireplace. And on the morning of, I cut me down the prettiest darn Christmas tree you ever saw in your life. This year, we really outdid ourselves, You know, Ma and I are gettin' on in our years so we decided to give the kids tax-free cash gifts of $10,000 apiece. Well, I reckon it was around noon when I heard the dogs barkin'. It was Jim the mailman in his old Santa cap coming up the walk, teasin' the dogs as usual and holdin' a package. Well, he handed it over to me and says, "Pappy, looks like you got an old package from your daughter." Well, Ma tore it open and to both our horrors we unwrapped a fruitcake and a note that read: "Aloha, Mom and Dad. At the last minute we got a cheap fare on the Internet and went to Hawaii! Hold on to our gifts till after the first of the year! Love, Princess!" Well, Ma's heart was broken and I felt a lump in my throat as I thought to myself:

    CHORUS:
    You ain't gettin' s**t for Christmas
    You can shove that fruitcake up your ass
    You ain't gettin' s**t
    No, you ain't gettin' dick
    You ain't gettin' s**t for Christmas

    Well, you know, Ma hasn't had a drink in 20 years and I, I've been off the sauce myself for awhile now, and heck, if there was ever an excuse to start drinkin' again...(doorbell rings) Who in tarnation could that be? Junior and his family? Ah, it was some delivery fella standin' there holdin' what looked like a fruitcake tin with a card attached- "Pop, the company condo's free this week and you know how much Pumpkin and I love Hilton Head. Please forward our gifts to this address." Hey, Ma, save some of that for me! Well, Ma took a conniption and things turned real ugly. She started breakin' things and hurlin' turkey and those two fruitcakes right through the front window and the whole time she was yellin':

    CHORUS:
    You ain't gettin' s**t for Christmas
    You can shove that fruitcake up your ass
    You ain't gettin' s**t
    No, you ain't gettin' dick
    You ain't gettin' s**t for Christmas

    You ain't gettin' s**t for Christmas
    You can shove that fruitcake up your ass
    You ain't gettin' s**t
    No, you ain't gettin' dick
    You ain't gettin' s**t for Christmas
    (Sonic SBL)
    HyperLink  
    Current Rating 9.9 (3 votes)
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "You Ain't Gettin' s**t For Christmas!"
     
     
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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