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Song Details
Rank this week: 43 (↑7)
Duration: 1:35 
Release Date: 1971  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: John Cleese/Graham Chapman (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Terry Jones/Michael Palin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Charisma (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Kay-Gee-Bee Music Ltd. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI (Stavro Arrgolus) 
This episode contains what I believe to be one of the best lines in the whole series and one of the most vicious also: "...we'll eat your mum, then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it." The first time I heard that, I was rolling on the floor and no one could figure out what was so funny. - Stavro Arrgolus
  • The episode this bit comes from, "Royal Episode Thirteen" (Ep. 26) was the final show of the second series. By this time, the BBC were on to what the Pythons were doing and scrutinizing every script. This sketch wasn't approved of until the Pythons agreed to allow the studio audience to boo and generally shout disapproval and then finally rush the stage and stop the sketch in what has to be the most poorly executed audience participation fakery ever attempted on television. Whether it was done that way purposely or not... (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • This sketch is featured in Episode 26 of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" TV show. (peterpuck9)
  • Song Lyrics:
    Man (John Cleese): (entering a shop) Um, excuse me, is this the undertaker's?
    Undertaker (Graham Chapman): Yup, that's right, what can I do for you, squire?

    Man: Um, well, I wonder if you can help me. My mother has just died and I'm not quite sure what I should do.

    Undertaker: Ah, well, we can 'elp you. We deal with stiffs.

    Man: Stiffs?

    Undertaker: Yea. Now there's three things we can do with your mum. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her.

    Man: Dump her?

    Undertaker: Dump her in the Thames.

    Man: What?

    Undertaker: Oh, did you like her?

    Man: Yes!

    Undertaker: Oh well, we won't dump her, then. Well, what do you think: burn her, or bury her?

    Man: Um, well, um, which would you recommend?

    Undertaker: Well they're both nasty. If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead. But quick. And then you get a box of ashes, which you can pretend are hers.

    Man: Oh.

    Undertaker: Or, if you don't wanna fry her, you can bury her. And then she'll get eaten up by maggots and weevils, nibble, nibble, nibble, which isn't so hot if, as I said, she's not quite dead.

    Man: I see. Um. Well, I.. I'm not very sure. She's definitely dead.

    Undertaker: Where is she?

    Man: In this sack.

    Undertaker: Let's 'ave a look.

    Umm, she looks quite young.

    Man: Yes, she was.

    Undertaker: (over his shoulder) FRED!

    Fred (Eric Idle): (offstage) Yeah?

    Undertaker: I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EATER!

    Fred: I'll get the oven on!

    Man: Um, er...excuse me, um, are you... are you suggesting we should eat my mother?


    Undertaker: Yeah. Not raw, not raw. We cook her. She'd be delicious with a few french fries, a bit of stuffing. Delicious! (smacks his lips)

    Man: What!?


    Man: Actually, I do feel a bit peckish - No! NO, I can't!

    Undertaker: Look, we'll eat your mum. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.

    Man: All right.
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    Current Rating 10.0 (2 votes)
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