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Song Details
Duration: 2:49 
Release Date: 1939  (CapSuper) 
Lyrics By:
Music By:
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Published By:
  • Written in 1932 (CapSuper)
  • Song Lyrics:
    [original version]

    O listen to my story
    It's very sad and true
    It makes me so unhappy
    It'll break your heart in two
    I found it out this morning
    It kept me up all night
    But now I know the secret
    And I'll bet you that I'm right.

    chorus: They're ain't no Santa Clause [sic]
    Oh no they're ain't no Santa Clause
    Take a tip from me, it's a fantasy
    "Cause they're ain't no Santa Clause.

    A Scotchman likes his money
    A Frenchman likes his wine
    A Dutchman likes his lager beer
    And he drinks it all the time
    A bulldog likes his master
    A coward likes his life
    My neighbor likes his ice man
    And the ice man loves his wife.


    I went down to the race track
    To follow up a tip
    I wagered all my money
    And boy, he was a pip
    You ought to see him flying
    He'd surely win that day
    The only thing that made him lose was
    He ran the other way.


    A man was tired of living
    The world seemed out of rhyme
    So he went to his medicine chest
    To drink some iodine
    By some mistake he drank down
    Plain castor oil you see
    So when he woke up the following day


    [The remake uses verses 1 and 3 of the original, then:

    I know a guy named Willy
    Who loves a girl named Flo
    She has a sister Mary
    Whose husband's name is Joe
    They call their baby Sonny
    His brother's name is Si
    If you know what I'm talkin' about
    You're a better man than I.


    Twelve men and fifteen women
    Were standing in a fret
    Beneath one small umbrella
    Yet none of them got wet
    If you can't guess the answer
    I'll tell it once again
    Not even one got wet because
    It wasn't raining then.


    A Scotchman sat one evening
    Upon his Davenport
    He gazed up at the ceiling
    And he thought and thought and thought
    He suddenly banged the table
    And yelled in wild despair
    "I'd give a thousand bucks right now
    To be a millionaire."


    Current Rating 10.0 (1 vote)
    Song Images:
    1946 remake

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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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