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Song Details
Rank this week: 14 (↑29)
Duration: 5:55 
Release Date: 1972  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Monte Kay/Jack Lewis (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Little David LD 7214 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Dead Sea Music Inc. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI (Stavro Arrgolus) 
  • Carlin makes a quick Vietnam reference in this bit. The dealer brought the stuff 'back from Cambodia in a guitar'. At the time, the trendy thing to do was to make such references knowing that even the subtlest mention of 'Nam would be interpreted as a counterculture swipe at yet another immoral war- even if nothing negative about it was said. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Opening track from the 'FM & AM' album. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I got fired last year in Las Vegas from the Frontier Hotel for saying 's**t' in a town where the big game is called 'crap'. That's some kind of a double standard, y'know? I'm sure there was some Texan standing out in the casino yelling, "Aw, s**t! I crapped!" And they fly those guys in free, y'know? Fired me... s**t. You can get in as much trouble saying s**t as you can smokin' it down there.

    s**t's a nice word. It's a friendly, happy, y'know, kind of word. Handy word. Middle class has never really been into s**t, y'know, as a word. No, not really comfortable. Not completely into it. Y'know, not really relaxed with it. You'll hear it around the kitchen if someone drops a casserole, y'know, "Oh, s**t! Oh! Oh, look at the noodles! Oh, s**t! Don't say that, Johnny, just hear it. Oh, s**t!" Sometimes they say 'shoot'. They can't kid me, man. 'Shoot' is 's**t' with two 'o's.

    No one ever uses the word s**t really literally, y'know? It's always figurative speech. "Hey, get that s**t outta here, willya? Just move that s**t away. I don't wanna hear that s**t. I don't have to take that s**t. I'm not full of... You're full of s**t! Whaddya think I am, a shithead, or something? I don't need that s**t." It's always figurative. You never hear anyone say, "Look at the s**t, Martha! Wow! Little piles of s**t in the street. Wow." They don't say that. They have other words for that. Doo-doo, ca-ca, poo-poo and good old number two. Could never figure that one out, man. How did they arrive at that? Out of all the numbers, two gotta mean s**t. Why didn't they pick thirteen, y'know? They didn't like that one, anyway. That'd be easy to remember, "Thirteen means s**t and bad luck. Right, I got it."

    My dog does number five. That's three ones and a two. Your dog does that, right? Dogs do a lot of number ones, man. They really do and they hold that and they spread it out all over town if they can, 'cause they know if they do one all at once, you take 'em right up to the house again, man. They save one-(sssss) little here, (sssss) little there, (sssss) yeah, y'know. They can do twenty, twenty five number ones sometimes. I told my little girl, y'know that our dog did number five, I said, 'Hey, Bogey did number five, three ones and a two! ha ha ha" She thought that was great. She kept runnin' back for an hour, man, telling me different combinations, right? "Hey, he did twenty one- ten twos and a one! ha ha ha" Kids're like that. They love a joke. They really run with it forever. Just 4000 variations on a theme.

    Hey, another aspect of the word s**t; to the drug community,
    a nice term. Sounds... What is Time Magazine calling it this week? Drug-culture? Mini-culture? Micro-culture? They have a million hyphens over there at Time Incorporated. Throw them around. Uh, yeah. To the doper, s**t means something very special. s**t means shiiiit! Whatever you smoke, drop, shoot, snort, rub into your belly or whatever, is your s**t. Especially grass. Most often referred to as s**t. Yeah. "Got ant s**t?" "No, I'm outta s**t, man" "Why don't you lend me some s**t?" "You already owe me some s**t." I wonder if one narcotics policeman, I call them 'narcotics policemen' 'cause I don't like the word 'narc'. Sounds too final. Y'know, 'narc' (boom). Sounds like it's over. 'Narcotics policeman' sounds like you might have a chance of talking him out of it, y'know? Good luck. But I wonder if one narc could go all the way through school and not know that s**t means shiiiit? He might. Sure be in for a lot of surprises first day on the job, though. Some guy would roll up on him, "Hey! You wanna buy some s**t?" "Well, I never thought about it, really. Where did you get the s**t" Try to draw him out. Find out the identity of 'Mr. Big', right? "Well, we brought it back from Cambodia in a guitar, man, and we, um, made brownies out of some of it and we gave some away as a wedding present and we're selling the rest, man." "Sounds like some sort of a religious cult. How much is the s**t?" "I'll let you have two ounces for ninety dollars, man." "Must be good s**t" "Yeah, it is, man. Think ya want some papers with that?" "Yes, better let me have a roll or two, would you?" Ohh, God. Oh, s**t.
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    Current Rating 9.5 (1 vote)
    Played on 1 show:
    05-02-82, #82-18
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "Shoot"
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