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| Facts: |
| featuring Whitney Morgan and Power Salad (Captain Wayne) |
| Web pages about this song: |
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| Song Lyrics: |
Suggested by Scott Morgan
* Suggested by Steven Shilling
** Suggested by Roberta Maher
[chorus]
It's Christmas day I'm wonderin' why
I got out of bed at all
The morning came, I looked for presents
But I got none at all
There's nothing jolly in my house today
But the star atop my tree
It reminds me that it's all 'bout me
It's all about me
[v1]
Dear Santa, this is Devo Spice, and I'm proud to say
I didn't think I could afford it but I found a way
I finally moved out of my parents' house, away I went
I'm so grateful to them, though, because they pay my rent
Sometimes I feel like I'm the luckiest nerd alive
A lot of people live at home until they're thirty-five
So I'm just writing so I can give you my new address
Along with a short list of presents that I want too, I guess
Like a Switch 2 with that Donkey Kong game would be nice
And the Assblaster 5000 Personal Massage Device
I sure hope you can bring me what's on my wish list and
I'll be sure to leave out some milk and cookies, Merry Christmas, man
(chorus)
[v2]
Dear Santa, why didn't you come? I don't understand at all
I wrote you a letter, I even went to see you at the mall
The milk and cookies went untouched, now they're stale and sour
I sat and stared at the empty space under my tree for an hour
I'm not mad, just disappointed at what you did
'Cause you always came through for me every year when I was a kid
I wanted the first Christmas at my new place to be special
My mom says I'm special, even my school said I'm special
So write me back, and please explain because I'm so upset
And hurry up before I do something that you'll regret
And I know that that may land me on the naughty list for next year
But I really need to understand just what's been happening here
(chorus)
[v3]
Dear Mr. I'm Too Fat to Fit Down Your Chimney Hole
Are you spending all your time watching Mrs. Claus dance on the North Pole?*
And you're too busy to write me a simple letter?
Well I just drank a whole gallon of egg nog and I've never felt better
I should write you off forever but I'm hesitant to
But right now I'd rather shove the tree up my ass than get a present from you**
Screw it, I'm-a do it, we're done, this is the end
Don't worry about me 'cause you'll never hear from me again
I'm-a switch to Judaism so I get gifts for eight nights
I hope you get a splinter in your ass while you're up at great heights
I know you're laughing at me but I'm telling you this isn't funny
Excuse me now I have to write a letter to the Easter Bunny
(chorus)
[v4]
Ho ho ho...
Dear Devo, I brought you a Switch, a game, and a new phone case
But I thought you were joking when you said you got your own place
I left the gifts with your parents in a little pile
Maybe you'd know that if you called them every once in a while
I'm sorry that I didn't write sooner but you know
Things are busy up here, Vixen says hello
Going forward maybe you should get your gifts from Amazon Prime
Good luck with the Judaism, l'chaim (Captain Wayne) |
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