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Song Details
Rank this week: 21 (↑15)
Duration: 5:21 
Release Date: 1972  (sfjpk30) 
Lyrics By: George Carlin (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By: Monte Kay/Jack Lewis (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Released By: Little David LD 7214 (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Published By: Dead Sea Music Inc. (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Licensing: BMI (Stavro Arrgolus) 
  • This bit about TV commercials is by far Carlin's most dated, throwaway routine ever. Because commercials themselves are meant to have a short shelf life, even just a few years after this bit was released, the TV references made in it became completely unfamiliar to the audience since the commercials mentioned were long gone from the airwaves- and Carlin wisely never wrote another bit quite this topical again. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • In this bit, Carlin uses cigarette commercials as some of the examples of sex in commercials. Cigarette commercials had just been banned from TV in the US, but the jokes still worked as the ads were still fresh in the public consciousness. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    How many did not wear a good strong deodorant tonight- don't raise your hands, no. Five Day Deodorant Pads would have to be the strangest product yet to emerge from the business mind. "Five Day Deodorant Pads". Sounds like a curse of some kind. And tell the truth now, be honest. When you first heard of Five Day Deodorant Pads, how many of you thought you had to wear them? Always catch a few. "Two years I wore those mothers." Lotta laughs at the beach. "Hey, hey! Look at the goofy guy! He's got things under his arms!"

    Scope. Has anyone here ever received a bottle of Scope? Has anyone here ever sent anyone a bottle of Scope? Just seems like such a cruel thing. Often think of the borderline psychotic. Just needs one more thing to go wrong, y'know. Going down to the mailbox.. "Hmm..what's this? Scope? Scope! AHH! WAH! AHHHHHHHGH!" Up on the roof with a Magnum- BMMM! Nine dead and they blame Marine training. Uh, bad breath, yeah. "Anyone can have bad breath, Marge, but you can knock a buzzard off a shitwagon!" Remember that?

    Hey, if ya ever run out of deodorant, I never mentioned that. Ya can, ya do, even in the nicest home. You get one pit done, y'know, and (moan, groan). Ya gotta go like that..(does an unseen visual gag). If you run out of deodorant, go into the kitchen and put a bay leaf under each arm. It doesn't stop you from perspiring, but you smell like soup! Keeps your friends alert, y'know. "Hey, who's wearing Chicken Vegetable?" "Not me, I have Bean With Bacon." One of the Campbell's hearty soups- The Manhandler! That's what they call 'em. Frankie Laine sings about it. (sings commercial jingle:) Howdya handle a hungry man? "The Manhandler!" Really sounds a little suggestive to me.

    There's a lotta that in advertising. Hidden sex, y'know? There's a lot of open sex, too. (imitates commercial catch phrases:) "Take it off. Take it all off" "Does she or doesn't she - Hope so, hmm" But that's open and you can deal with that. I worry about the subliminal message. "It's what's up front that counts" "Should a gentleman offer a lady a Tiparillo?" And what's the big scene in the Tiparillo commercial is a train going into a tunnel, man. (makes train 'Doppler' noise) You don't have to be Fellini to figure that out. But not all of the sex in those commercials is wholesome, normal, good old fashioned, American 'man on top get it over with quick'. Sometimes it's bizarre. "I'd walk a mile for a Camel" "But wouldn't you really rather have a Buick?" "If I could get my hands on a Toyota" "Well, they say Plymouth makes it" Must make it with Toyotas.

    And the cigarettes are obscene. Doral - (gay voice:) "Taste me, taste me!" Few, few years ago, 'eat me' was a bad word; you couldn't say it on television. Now they've got male models running around singing it. "Taste me, taste me!" Winston - "Me and my Winston, we got a real good thing!" What are they doing with those cigarettes? Half the pack is gone and they haven't lit one up yet. They're doing something with them, by God! And Lark - "Show us your Lark! Ah ah ah ahh ah!" That's a nice invitation to a flasher. Try that Lark thing in the Bowery; those guys will show you their Larks. Then the filthiest slogan of all - "It's not how long you make it; it's how you make it long!" Fortunately, that's based in truth, so it's easy to take.
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    Current Rating 9.0 (2 votes)
    Played on 4 shows:
    06-24-17, #KMCC-T12-3201-07-06, #MMS-12
    10-11-14, #14-4101-19-03, #03-03
    = Show you can listen to online
    Song Images:
    Messages about the song: "Sex In Commercials"
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