If Santa Was A Hoosier by The Ricky Rydell Review from The Bob & Tom Show

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If Santa Was A Hoosier
By: The Ricky Rydell Review from The Bob & Tom Show

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Duration:	3:24 (Stavro Arrgolus)
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Song Lyrics:

(chorus:)
If Santa was a Hoosier
What would Christmas be today?
Would Santa have a beer gut
and a gun rack on his sleigh?
Instead of saying, "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
would he belch and scratch all day? (BURP!)
If Santa was a Hoosier
what would Christmas be today?

Now, I wonder what it'd be like
If Santa came from here?
Would the elves close down the workshop
and watch basketball all year?
Would Christmas Eve be canceled
and would Rudolph stay at home
'cause Santa's sleigh is entered
at a tractor pull at the dome?

If we saw the reindeer flyin'
Just what would be the reason?
Had Don's Guns had a sale
and declared it "reindeer season"?
Would Santa hang out on Pendleton Pike
with a hooker on her belly?
Would he come out of a bookstore
with a case of K-Y jelly?

(chorus)

When he's loaded up with all his toys
his dolls and baseball mitts
Would he fly over the Speedway
and yell, "Hey, show us your ****!"?
Would we find his sleigh impounded
and his elves out raising bail
'cause he flunked the breathalyzer
and he's in the county jail?

(chorus)

Now, would Santa be in traction
with his broken back a-healin'
from landing on a mobile home
and crashin' through the ceilin'?
If Santa was a Hoosier
would the star that lit the night
lead to celebrate the Savior
or the birth of Bobby Knight?

(repeat chorus twice)

(Stavro Arrgolus)

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*Available on the following albums:*
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*Played on 5 shows:*
	12-04-16, #MMS-206	01-27-91, #91-04
	12-25-13, #MMS-182	12-16-90, #90-50
	12-25-11, #MMS-148
	= Show you can listen to online

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