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Song Details
Duration: 4:19 
Release Date: 1990  (peterpuck9) 
Lyrics By: Fries, Davis, K. Sheeler & W. Sheeler (peterpuck9) 
Music By: Fries, Davis, K. Sheeler & W. Sheeler (peterpuck9) 
Produced By:
Released By: Helion (peterpuck9) 
Published By:
Licensing:
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Reviews:
Facts:
  • It is reported that in L.A. there were at least two "custom" versions of this song with specific radio stations mentioned by the man on the phone, played on those stations. (Tim P. Ryan)
  • Song is a parody of "Convoy" by C.W. McCall which was a 70s song about truckers talking on CB radios. (peterpuck9)
  • Song Lyrics:
    [On the car phone]
    Tina, Tina, this is Bill, I'm on the 4-Oh-5 just past Mulholland. My ETA should be 8:15. What's today's agenda?

    You've got a huddle here with McKimson and Klein at 8:30. A brunch meeting at the Polo Lounge at 11:30, and a new presentation at 2.

    Okay, call Jack; tell him to stall Klein until 8:45. Change the reservations to Citrus for brunch and pick up my dry cleaning. Beep me if there's a problem. It's a good thing I have a car phone.

    It was smog-filled morning in old L.A.
    Freeway shootings in Sepulveda Pass
    Another dumb driver just cut me off
    Thank god I purchased bullet-proof glass
    I've got meetings, luncheons, a tennis game
    And drinks with Sylvester Stallone
    I book up my busy calendar
    On my brand new shiny car phone, ta-ta!


    [Chorus]
    He's got a bitchin' car phone
    He thinks he owns the road
    Yeah, he's got a brand-new car phone
    He's stuck in the yuppie mode
    Since he has a brand-new car phone
    You better not get in his way
    He's gonna use that car phone
    To make his name in L.A.
    Car phone!


    [On the car phone]
    Hector, Hector, this is B.M. BILL MURDOCK. Yeah, pick up fifty shares of Exxon and get me a portfolio update. Yes, now.

    A drunk is blocking the lanes ahead
    He's weaving at a frightful rate
    So I get on the phone with the CHP
    Give the number on his license plate
    Tina, Tina, this is Bill
    And I've hardly moved an inch
    Can you push my meeting up until 9?
    I'm really in a pinch


    [Chorus]
    He's got a bitchin' car phone
    He thinks he owns the road
    Yeah, he's got a brand-new car phone
    He's stuck in the yuppie mode
    Since he has a brand-new car phone
    You better not get in his way
    He's gonna use that car phone
    To make his name in L.A.
    Car phone!


    [On the car phone]
    Yeah, fax it to my car fax: 555-7672. Get Shirley to voice-verify. Yes, I'll be at my car phone.

    Bill Murdock, please hold.
    Bill Murdock, please hold.
    Bill Murdock, please hold.
    This is Bill Murdock.


    Bill?

    Who is this?

    Whaddya mean, "who is this?" This is your wife!

    Oh, oh, I'm losing you. I'm going under a freeway overpass. Sorry.

    So there I was at Spago, and who comes to my table but Parker Stevenson?

    Um, really? How cool!

    Yes, and I said, "Parker, babe, I still watch your Hardy Boy reruns."

    Oh my god! Me too!

    (Car horn honks) Hey, watch where you're goin', you yuppie pig!

    Oh, of course. I'd expect that from someone who drives a Hyundai. Your car has no frame, bim-bo. It doesn't get any better than this. Uh-huh.

    I can shop at Saks at the touch of a key
    It surely is a wonderful life
    I need my loyal assistant
    To pick me up a gift for my wife
    I've got a mistress out in Malibu
    Keeping up this indiscretion is hard
    I can damn well talk as long as I want
    I charge it on my Optima card, tra-la


    [Chorus]
    Yeah, he's got a great big car phone
    He's havin' himself a ball
    Yes, he's got a mighty car phone
    He's gonna smash into a wall (brakes squeal)
    I'm just a lowly peon
    His wish is my command
    When he dies they'll find that comm line
    Clutched in his hand
    Car phone!


    Call Brockman, Hersheim, and Werner and Lou
    We've got a conference call at 10
    Then get my get decorator on the line
    I wanna see the curtains for my den
    A cop is pulling me over now
    He'll probably hold a grudge
    As soon as he gets that phone call
    From my father-in-law, the judge, ta-ta


    [On the car phone]
    Sorry, love, the alimony payment will be late this month; I need new Ray-Bans. "Phantom of the Opera"? Of course I've seen it; don't be gauche. Domino's Pizza, can you deliver? I'm on the eastbound 10. Groovy.
    (Hatman)
    HyperLink  
    Current Rating 10.0 (2 votes)
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