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How The Grinch Stole Chanukah 
By: Mike Toomey
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Rank this week: 31 (↑50)
Duration: 3:16 
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  • Someone needs to decide how to spell this holiday once and for all. I spelled it with a 'C' in the lyric box because the title is spelled that way. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Song Lyrics:
    All the Jews down in Jewville loved Chanukah a lot
    but the Grinch, a gentile, however...did not
    He sat on his perch and looked down at the Jews
    “Chanukah's coming and I'm not amused”

    “I don’t like their customs, their dreidels of clay
    I must stop Chanukah before the first day
    Oh, they'll light their menorah
    then they'll dance their Hora
    They'll eat latkes and roast beast and they'll give out their toys
    They'll sing, and they'll dance and the OYs! OYS! OYS!"

    So he waited 'til nightfall and snuck through their doors
    Took down decorations from ceiling to floor
    He stole all their toys and he loaded his truck
    He stole the menorah….the miserable schmuck!
    Then the Grinch said, "I’ll show them how mean I am"
    He switched the roast beast with a honey baked ham

    With his duties completed, the Grinch turned to go
    Then he heard a small voice from the bedroom cry, "No!"
    The Grinch then met someone who changed this whole story
    The Finklestein boy, the first name of Maury

    “Hey, meshuggenah! Enough is enough!
    Chanukah won't go away 'cause you've stolen our stuff!
    It’s not about presents, not candy and nuts
    It’s a time for reflection, you big stupid putz!”

    So the Grinch took a seat and listened to Maury
    as he told him of Chanukah; he told the whole story
    The Grinch- he was riveted by the tale so great
    about one day of oil that had burned for eight

    The Grinch said, "I like you, precocious young squirt
    I like you so much…I think I'll convert!"

    The Grinch knew exactly just what he should do
    He contacted a Rabbi and soon was a Jew
    And when the Jews down in Jewville sat down for their feast,
    the Grinch in a yarmulke carved the roast beast
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
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    Current Rating 10.0 (4 votes)
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