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| Facts: |
| And through this bit, a whole generation of stupid Yanks learned what "penultimate" meant. But just to make sure, Eric called it the "last but one" supper first - so there'd be no question from the thoroughly stoned audience at the Hollywood Bowl what "penultimate" meant when he said it a moment later. (Stavro Arrgolus) |
| The Hollywood Bowl version with Eric Idle as Michelangelo. (Stavro Arrgolus) |
| Web pages about this song: |
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| Song Lyrics: |
SERVANT (Graham Chapman):
Michelangelo to see you, your Holiness.
POPE (John Cleese):
Who?
SERVANT:
Michelangelo, the famous renaissance artist whose best known works include the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and the celebrated statue of David.
POPE:
Ah. Very well...
SERVANT:
In 1514 he returned to Florence and de...
POPE:
All right, that's enough, that's enough, they've got it now!
SERVANT:
Oh.
(He makes an odd face and bolts.)
Michelangelo (Eric Idle):
Good evening, your Holiness.
POPE:
Evening, Michelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours, "The Last Supper."
MICHELANGELO:
Oh, yeah?
POPE:
I'm not happy about it.
MICHELANGELO:
Oh dear. It took me hours.
POPE:
Not happy at all.
MICHELANGELO:
Is it the jello you don't like?
POPE:
No.
MICHELANGELO:
Ah, no, I know, they do add a bit of color, don't they? Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo.
POPE:
What kangaroo?
MICHELANGELO:
No problem, I'll paint him out.
POPE:
I never saw a kangaroo!
MICHELANGELO:
Uh... he's right in the back. I'll paint him out, no sweat, I'll make him into a disciple.
POPE:
Ah.
MICHELANGELO:
All right?
POPE:
That's the problem.
MICHELANGELO:
What is?
POPE:
The disciples.
MICHELANGELO:
Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.
POPE:
No, it's just that there are twenty-eight of them.
MICHELANGELO:
Oh, well, another one will never matter, I'll make the kangaroo into another one.
POPE:
No, that's not the point.
MICHELANGELO:
All right. Well, I'll lose the kangaroo. T'be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it.
POPE:
That's not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples!
MICHELANGELO:
(long pause) Too many?
POPE:
Well, of course it's too many!
MICHELANGELO:
Yeah, I know that, but I wanted to give the impression of a REAL last supper, you know, not just any old last supper. Not like a last meal or a final snack. But you know, I wanted to give the impression of a real mother of a blow-out, you know?
POPE:
There were only twelve disciples at the last supper.
MICHELANGELO:
Well, maybe some of the others came along afterw...
POPE:
There were only twelve altogether.
MICHELANGELO:
Well, maybe some of their friends came by, you know?
POPE:
Look! There were just twelve disciples and our Lord at the last supper. The Bible clearly says so.
MICHELANGELO:
No friends?
POPE:
No friends.
MICHELANGELO:
Waiters.
POPE:
No.
MICHELANGELO:
Cabaret!
POPE:
No!
MICHELANGELO:
You see, I like them, they help to flesh out the scene, I could lose a few, you know I could...
POPE:
Look! There were only twelve disciples at...
MICHELANGELO:
I've got it! I've got it! We'll call it "The Last But One Supper"!
POPE:
What?
MICHELANGELO:
Well there must have been one, if there was a last one there must have been a one before that! So this is the "Penultimate Supper"! The Bible doesn't say how many people were there, now does it?
POPE:
No, but...
MICHELANGELO:
Well there you are, then!
POPE:
Look! The last supper is a significant event in the life of our Lord! The penultimate supper was not! ... Even if they had a conjurer and a mariachi band. Now, a last supper I commissioned from you, and a last supper I want. With twelve disciples and one Christ!
[pause]
MICHELANGELO:
ONE?!
POPE:
Yes, one! Now will you please tell me what in God's name possessed you to paint this with three Christs in it?
MICHELANGELO:
It works, mate!
POPE:
Works?
MICHELANGELO:
Yeah! It looks great! The fat one balances the two skinny ones.
POPE:
There was only one Redeemer!
MICHELANGELO:
Ah, I know that, we all know that, what about a bit of artistic license?
POPE:
One Messiah is what I want!
MICHELANGELO:
I'll tell you what you want, mate, you want a bloody photographer! That's what you want. Not a bloody creative artist.
(Now the enraged pope leaps down from his throne and all but attacks Michelangelo.)
POPE:
I'll tell you what I want! I want a last supper with one Christ, twelve disciples, no kangaroos, no trampoline acts, by Thursday lunch, or you don't get paid!
MICHELANGELO:
Bloody fascist!
(Eric runs off, leaving the screaming Pope behind.)
POPE:
Look! I'm the bloody pope, I am! ... I may not know much about art, but I know what I like!
(Stavro Arrgolus) |
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