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Song Details
Rank this week: 53 (↑20)
Duration: 3:19 (belowaveragedave) 
Release Date: 1/19/2009  (belowaveragedave) 
Lyrics By: Silver Power (belowaveragedave) 
Music By: Silver Power (belowaveragedave) 
Produced By: Silver Power (belowaveragedave) 
Released By: badave.com (belowaveragedave) 
Published By: Silver Power (belowaveragedave) 
Licensing:
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Facts:
  • Parody of "Handlebars" by The Flobots (belowaveragedave)
  • Song Lyrics:
    I have never gone to a salad bar,
    A salad bar,
    A salad bar,
    No, I have never gone to a salad bar,
    I've stayed away,
    So very far

    Look at me
    Look at me
    Blob on the couch eatin' KFC
    And I
    Am tearin' off the wrapper
    Of the the candy bar that contains Hershey's
    I can eat all of the Doritos
    I can show you how to break a record
    Eating apple pies at a county fair
    But that is not the point, get it back together
    I can eat 12 bags full of MnM's,
    While I'm swallowing an entire ham,
    Couldn't even fit in my cubical,
    Working as a tech-geek for IBM,
    I have no friends, just a cat named puss
    All of my friends live in comic books
    Somebody call a cook,
    I have a hankering for prime rib, so, look

    Since college, I have always been alone,
    Oh, so alone,
    Eating T-Bone
    Cuz, I can't fit through the door of my own home
    Of my own home,
    Of my own home

    Look at me
    Look at me
    Just ate 3 mice and a bumblebee,
    ALIVE
    My fridge is empty,
    Now I gotta go get groceries,
    I use my money, buy junk food at the store,
    I buy lots of chips, dips, candy, and ice cream,
    Use MasterCard at the cash register,
    "Insufficient Funds" pops up on the screen,
    I was about to go psychotic,
    Everything just really seemed so chaotic, Then I see
    That I have my Visa with me,
    Stupid me, I feel so idiotic,
    Drive home slowly in my beater,
    The long wait seemed to make the food sweeter
    Shove the food down my digestive system
    God damn me for my super-low resistance, Cuz

    I can't help my self from eating Oreos,
    or Do-si-dos,
    this really blows,
    And looking like John Goodman is really not cool,
    Really not cool,
    It's so, so cruel

    Look at me
    Look at me
    Eating, and I can't stop
    But, it feels real bad to me,
    My weight will not drop,
    My reach, is limited,
    My elbows, deformed,
    My couch, is dented,
    My clothes aren't the norm.
    At the size that I'm at I just can't function,
    Cuz I'm looking just like a carved-out pumpkin,
    I am considering liposuction,
    Cuz I feel like I'm close to eruption,
    I could try eating foods with no fat in them,
    Even though I don't like 'em,
    I could exercise, not watch television,
    Use 'Jenny Craig', 'stead of 'OnDemand',

    Because All of my pairs of pants are really tight,
    They're really tight,
    They're really tight,
    And maybe I could do crunches and jump some rope,
    And jump some rope,
    There might be hope,
    And when I lose some weight then I'm a get some ass,
    I'm a get some ass,
    I'm a get some ass,
    I'M A GET SOME ASS
    I'M A GET SOME ASS
    I'M A GET SOME ASS

    I have never gone to a salad bar,
    A salad bar,
    A salad bar,
    I have never gone to a salad bar,
    A salad bar,
    A salad bar...

    (belowaveragedave)
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    Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
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    Messages about the song: "I Have Never Gone to a Salad Bar"
     
     
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    Song samples are provided for information purposes only and are intended to enable the users to sample the music (as they are in very low quality) before they take the decision of purchasing the music. This right is expressly permitted under "Fair Use" as nonprofit educational purposes only. The ownership of the copyright of the songs rests with the respective owners.

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