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Dr. Hackenbush 
By: Groucho Marx
Play Sample:
Rank this week: 30 (↑47)
Duration: 3:10 
Release Date: 1937  (DJRockdoc) 
Lyrics By: Ruby/Kalmar (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Ruby/Kalmar (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By:
Released By:
Published By:
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Song Lyrics:
Dr. Hackenbush

Lyrics and Music by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby

[choir] So this is Doctor Hackenbush
the famous medical
You're welcome, Doctor Hackenbush
[Groucho] If that's the case, I'll go!
[choir] Oh no, you mustn't go!
[Groucho] Who said I mustn't go?
The only reason that I came is so that I can go

[Groucho] I'm Doctor Hackenbush
my medical standing's very high
Well, anyways, ladies and gentlemen
I am Doctor Hackenbush
[choir] He's Doctor Hackenbush
[Groucho] I'm Doctor Hackenbush
[Groucho] As a matter of fact, to be exact
I'm Doctor Hackenbush

[girl] I'm sure that they'd all like to hear
some facts about your great career
[Groucho] Although my horn I hate to blow
there's one thing that you ought to know

I'm Doctor Hackenbush
which all my friends will verify
Well, anyways, ladies and gentlemen
I am Doctor Hackenbush
[choir] He's Doctor Hackenbush
[Groucho] I'm Doctor Hackenbush
[Groucho]You never would guess, but nevertheless
I'm Doctor Hackenbu-u-u-u-sh

For ailments abdominal, my charges are nominal
Though I'm great for, I've a rate for tonsillectomy
Sick and healthy, poor and wealthy, come direct to me
"Oooh, God bless you!" they yell
When I send them home well
But they never, no, they never, send a check to me

I've won acclaim for curing ills, both in the North and South
You'll find my name, just like my pills, in everybodys' mouth
I've never lost a case
[choir] He's never lost a case!
[Groucho] I've lost a lot of patients but I've never lost a case!

My diagnosis never fails
I know just what to do
Whenever anybody ails
I'm sympathetic too
My heart within me melts
[choir] His heart within him melts
[Groucho] No matter what I treat them for, they die from something else

When your nerves start to rock, put your faith in your doc
When you're sick, he will stick to the end
With the possible exception of your mo-o-other
A doctor's a mans' best friend
[choir] Yes! A doctor's a mans' best friend
[Groucho] A doctor's a mans' best friend!
Oh-oh! A doctor's a mans' best friend!
[choir] A doctor is
[Groucho] A doctor is a mans' best friend

Right or wrong, wrong or right
Night and day, day and night
On his call you can always depend
With the possible exception of your mother and your father
and your uncles and your brothers
and your nephews and your nieces
and your sisters and your cousins
whom you number by the dozen
[All] A doctor's a mans' best friend!



Current Rating 10.0 (3 votes)
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