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Song Details
Duration: 1:59 
Release Date: 1979  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Monty Python (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: N/A (Stavro Arrgolus) 
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Song Lyrics:
ELDER PRALINE
Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath.

MATTHIAS
[to a guard] Do I say yes?

LIMESTONE
Yes.

MATTHIAS
[To the elder] Yes.

ELDER PRALINE
You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of
our lord, and so as a BLASPHEMER...

CROWD
Ooooh.

ELDER
... you are to be stoned to death!

--[The crowd looks anxious to kill Matthias, growling in a feminine way]

MATTHIAS
Look. I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was 'That piece of
halibut was good enough for Jehovah'.

CROWD
Oooooooh!

ELDER PRALINE
BLASPHEMY!!!! He said it again!

CROWD
Yes! Yes, he did! He did!...

ELDER PRALINE
Did you hear him?

CROWD
Yes! Yes, we did! We did!...

MR. CINDY (high-pitched)
Really.

--[There is a moment of silence as the elder thinks, after hearing the
woman's voice.]

ELDER PRALINE
Are there any... women here today?

CROWD
(guilty mumbling)

ELDER PRALINE (convinced)
Very well. By virtue of the authority vested in me...

--[One of the more impatient women throws a stone and hits Matthias on the
head.]

MATTHIAS
Oh! Lay off... we haven't started yet.

ELDER PRALINE
Come on. Who threw that? Who threw that stone? Come on.

CROWD
She did! She did! Er, he, he, he, him, him, him, he did... [Their voices
drop as they realize their mistake.]

MR. STEPHANIE
Sorry, I thought we'd started.

ELDER PRALINE
Go to the back.

MR. STEPHANIE
Oh, dear.

ELDER PRALINE
Always one, isn't there? Now, where were we?

MATTHIAS
Look, I don't think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying Jehovah.

CROWD
[Shocked] He said it again!

ELDER PRALINE
You're only making it worse for yourself.

MATTHIAS
Making it worse? How could it be worse? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah!!

CROWD
Oooooooh!

ELDER PRALINE
I'm warning you...! If you say Jehovah once more...
[A stone flies by and hits the elder.] Right. Who threw that? Come on. Who
threw that?

CROWD
She did! She did! Er, he, him, him, him, him, him, him...

ELDER
Was it you?

MR. VICTORIA
Yes.

ELDER
Right...

MR. VICTORIA
Well, you did say Jehovah. [She gets stoned]

ELDER (out of breath and furious)
Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to stone
anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to
make this absolutely clear, even if they do say 'Jehovah'.

--[The women rapidly stone the elder to death, ending in the dropping of a huge boulder on his fallen body. Much applause.]

MR. CINDY
Good shot.

(Stavro Arrgolus)
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Current Rating 0.0 (0 votes)
Played on 1 show:
01-22-11, #MMS-139
= Show you can listen to online
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Messages about the song: "Stoning"
 
 
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