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Banned From Argo 
By: Leslie Fish & The Dehorn Crew
  Play Sample:
Rank this week: 31 (↑48)
Duration: 6:00 
Release Date: 1977  (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Lyrics By: Leslie Fish (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Music By: Trad. (Boston Burglar) (Stavro Arrgolus) 
Produced By:
Released By:
Published By:
Licensing: BMI  #86744 
This song is not yet available in our store.
  • Originally from the album "Solar Sailors" (1977) (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • Legendary filker Leslie Fish is notoriously antagonistic toward this creation of hers. She wrote it to order, to fill a 7 minute shortage on the 'Solar Sailors' album, and regrets doing so. She's become so annoyed with it that she refuses to play it at filksings and has been known to stop anyone else who dares to play it in her presence. (Stavro Arrgolus)
  • According to her website, Leslie Fish says the song is full of fluff -- which kind of goes again her activist mindset. Another reason she regrets writing the song is because it was requested so many times at sci-fi conventions that she just can bear the thought of hearing it again! (nab6215)
  • Song Lyrics:
    When we pulled into Argo port in need of R&R,
    The crew set out investigating every joint and bar
    We had high expectations of their hospitality,
    But found too late it wasn't geared for spacers such as we

    And we're banned from Argo, everyone
    Banned from Argo, just for having a little fun
    We spent a jolly shore leave there for just three days or four
    But Argo doesn't want us any more

    The captain's tastes were simple, but his methods were complex
    We found him with five partners, each of a different world and sex
    The shore police were on the way, we had no second chance
    We beamed him up in the nick of time in the remnants of his pants


    Our engineer would yield to none at putting down the brew
    He out-drank seven space marines and a dee-molition crew
    The navigator didn't win, but he out drank almost all
    And now they've got a shuttlecraft on the roof of City Hall


    Our proper, cool first officer was drugged with something green
    And hauled into an alley, where he suffered things obscene
    He sobered up in sickbay and he's none the worse for wear
    Except he's somehow taught the bridge computer how to swear


    The head nurse disappeared awhile in the major dope Bazaar
    Buying an odd green potion guaranteed to cause Pon-Farr
    She came home with no uniform and an oddly cheerful heart
    And a painful way of walking with her feet a yard apart


    Our lady of communications won a shipwide bet
    By getting into the planet's main communications net
    Now every time someone calls up on an Argo telescreen,
    The flesh is there, but the clothes they wear are nowhere to be seen


    Our doctor loves humanity; his private life is quiet
    The shore police arrested him for inciting whores to riot
    We found him in the city jail, locked on and beamed him free
    Intact except for hickeys and six kinds of VD


    Our helmsman loves exotic plants; the plants all love him too
    He took some down on leave with him and we wondered what they'd do
    'Til the planetary governor called and swore upon his life
    That a gang of plants entwined his house and then seduced his wife!


    A gang of pirates landed, and nobody seemed to care
    They stamped into the nearest bar to announce that they were there
    Half our crew was busy there, and invited them to play
    But the pirates only looked at us, and turned and ran away


    Our crew is Starfleet's finest, and our record is our pride
    And when we play, we tend to leave a trail a mile wide
    We're sorry about the wreckage and the riots and the fuss
    At least we're sure that planet won't be quick forgetting us!

    Wonder why...

    ©1977 Leslie Fish
    (Stavro Arrgolus)
    Current Rating 7.5 (4 votes)
    Song Images:

    Messages about the song: "Banned From Argo"


    << Previous Song Thread Next Song Thread >>
    (New Message)
    Stavro Arrgolus   (Offline)  -  Editor, MP3  -  11-28-06 11:37 PM  -  92 months ago
    It's called Star Trek Comedy: The Unofficial Album (Vince Emery Productions 1987)

    --- vashydana
    i cant remember what its called tho
    (New Message)
    vashydana   (Offline)  -  Member  -  11-08-06 12:34 AM  -  92 months ago
    theres another album with this song on it... it was on a collection of star trek music... i cant remember what its called tho :( if anyone can find a copy of this let me know :)

    Enter a New Message



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