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Release Date: 2004  (Captain Wayne) 
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©2004 Lou & Peter Berryman



A scroungy old bird is the vulture
And corpses are all he will eat
He looks like a dork
But his beak is his fork
And his dining room table's the street (x2)

His ears are as sharp as his toenails
He listens to us in our bed
'Nif I don't make noise
Like a gym full of boys
He will think we're deliciously dead (x2)

He'll yank our butts out through the window
A vulture can pull very hard
The neighbors will say
That they watched with dismay
As he scattered our teeth in the yard (x2)

He'll suck out our eyeballs like olives
And spit the lids out in the dirt
He'll pluck at our hearts
For the tenderest parts
And reserve our pink lungs for dessert (x2)

Reporters will side with the vulture
In lurid sensational terms
They'll say for the crows
He left somebody's nose
And a little behind for the worms (x2)

But fine if my snoring upsets you
I'll go out and sleep on the lawn
When the vultures arrive
They will know I'm alive
And I'll move back inside when you're gone (x2)
(Captain Wayne)
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